


A Journey Home

by Cami1313



Series: Holmes is Where the Heart is [1]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst, BAMF John Watson, Eventual Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, First Kiss, M/M, Slow Burn, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-02-13 22:16:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 21
Words: 35,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12993678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cami1313/pseuds/Cami1313
Summary: A lazy Saturday morning at 221B has John sipping his tea and munching on the scones Mrs Hudson has brought up, while he reads the paper. Sherlock is in the kitchen doing some sort of experiment at the table, still in his pajamas of course, when suddenly John’s phone rings. It’s the Army calling and Captain John Watson must answer.





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Hi all. This is my first fanfic I’ve ever written. Please be kind because I know it’s not great. Enjoy. ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all. This is my fan fic I’ve ever written so please be kind.
> 
> A/N: Hi, now that I’ve finished this fic I’ve been told that I should pre-warn that their will be a major character death. If you feel like this would discourages you from reading I understand but I am letting you know this is only fic one in a three fic collection. 
> 
> Please go and read chapter 21 if MCD does trigger you and you do want to read the story but it does contain spoilers but I’ve been told that it makes people feel a lot better about the MCD. 
> 
> I do hope people will stick with me and you will enjoy my story either way. :)
> 
> Love, CamiXx

It’s a normal day at Baker Street with Sherlock conducting experiments in the kitchen and John calmly reading the paper hoping Sherlock doesn't blow anything up. The tv is playing in the background as Mrs. Hudson brings them tea and scones because it's a Saturday morning. John doesn't have work and Sherlock hasn't any cases to work on.

Bringing John his cup of tea and a scone over to him she says, "Terrible business all that war, glad you're not still doing that John. I'd be worried sick." 

The telly is suddenly a breaking news story on a bombing of a large city in Syria and the war is worsening everyday.

"Can't say I don't want to help but that's over for me now I've got other things, or rather one thing to keep me occupied", nodding towards Sherlock in the kitchen.

“I heard that John." Sherlock says without even lifting his head from his work.

John and Mrs. Hudson just laugh and she takes her tray back downstairs.

As soon as the flat door closes though, Johns’ phone rings on the coffee table. John grabs it and sees an unknown number but answers it anyway, could be Harry.

"Hello this is John", a person speaks on the other end and John smiles.

It's his old superior from Afghanistan Colonel Peterson and he asks John how he's doing. They make small talk about how John's recovered and John inquires as to where he's stationed at the moment.

The voice on the other line says that he's good to hear John shoulder is better because he's about to ask a big favour. Somehow, in his gut John knows what’s coming.

“John, I really hate to ask this but I assume you've seen the news about Syria, that was the city next to our base. It took out one of our main hospitals including under half of our medical staff and we're in very short supply.”

John’s smile disappears and he straightens up automatically. 

“I really hate to drag you from civilian life John but there's not nearly any doctors over here that has your experience so it would be great if you come back over and help”.

John stands and automatically walks to the kitchen door.

“Can you give me a few hours to think it over, it's not that I don't want to help it's just that I have something to lose now if I don't come back” he smiles sadly at Sherlock, who is still immersed in his experiments.

“That is absolutely fine John, I know it’s a big ask, I’ll call back at 1100 hours. If you’re good to go we can have you out to the barracks this afternoon for your physical and psych evaluations. We’d need you to be out here ASAP, so that means with the reinforcements coming over Monday morning. I’ll let you think it over John, thank you for at least thinking about it, I know you have people that rely on you now but we really would appreciate the help Captain.”

With that one word John knew what his answer was.

“No need to call back later on, I’ve made my decision.”

Letting the Colonel know his decision he says his goodbyes and hangs up. John gets his shoes and jacket on. Walking back to the kitchen he stands and watches Sherlock for a bit.

“Sherlock, I’m going out for a few hours okay? I’ll be back later on.”

Sherlock barely acknowledges John has spoken, only replying “Hmmmm, yes John, later.” His eyes never leaving his work.

“Try not to blow anything up while I’m gone will ya.”  
“Hmmmm, yes John, whatever you say”

John lets his eyes rest on his flatmate for a few more seconds and smiles fondly. He exits, closing the door to the flat and his civilian life behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. I know it’s not fantastic.  
> I’m looking for a Brit-picker and beta if anyone is interested. 
> 
>  
> 
> This is a work of fiction. All rights to Sherlock and characters belong to BBC and Arthur Conan Doyle.  
> This is all from my imagination except the existing characters.


	2. Chapter 2

John arrives at the military barracks at 1300 hours and is escorted through the barracks to the medical office. He is greeted by the receptionist and introduces himself.

“Hello, I’m John Watson, I’m here for an assessment.”

To which he only receives a sharp, “Watson? The doctor will see you now.”

John just nods at the hostility and walks toward the Doctors room for his physical assessment.

It takes about an hour as they a run full test but have to to wait for his blood work to get back but they won’t arrive until tomorrow so he sits in the waiting room for his 2:00 psych evaluation.

The receptionist takes a phone call and then looks up and simply says, “Watson, second floor room 20.” and sends John on his way.

John greets the military psychologist and they speak about his post traumatic stress disorder, his work with Sherlock, civilian life and they have apparently already been in contact with Johns personal psychiatrist.

She tells him she will report her findings and the military will ring him in the morning with all of his results but while he’s here he might as well go to the uniform area.

John figures the old uniform from 8 years ago probably won’t fit and aren’t regulation anymore. So John goes and finds he doesn’t need to go up a size which is surprising considering he and Sherlock rarely eat anything other than take out and also not surprising with the amount of running around he does before eating said take out.

They tell him they’ll fit him with proper dress when he returns, taking his measurements now but it’ll have to be made. John also thinks they don’t give it to him now in case he doesn’t make it back this time.

That dampens Johns mood for the rest of his visit to the base. He is directed to the field medic area to familiarise or re-familiarise himself with all procedures and equipment. That takes longer than he would have liked but still he’s done and off the base just after 5. He arrives home nearly an hour later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapters just trying to get the story set up and hopefully next chapter will be longer as it will be a case fic.


	3. Chapter 3

John climbs the 17 stairs to their apartment and take his shoes and jacket off at the door and calls out to Sherlock that he’s home, making his way to the kitchen.

Sherlock is in the exact spot he was when John left over 6 hours ago and looks like he hasn’t eaten or even blinked.

“Sherlock, I’m back”

  
No answer.

  
“Oi Sherlock” John says louder this time using his Captain Watson voice that Sherlock’s seems to always listen to.

And as if by magic Sherlock lifts his head blinks several time, stretches and turns to John.

“Yes John what is it you want, I’m in the middle of an important experiment on materials that burn with Sulfur so I wouldn’t recommend touching anything”,

  
“or using the top draw,”,

  
“or going into the bathroom”

  
“Christ Sherlock, Sulfur, really? I leave the house with strict instructions to not blow anything up and your idea of that is to burn it down with Sulfur instead”

  
“Don’t be silly John, I was merely making a joke. I am actually just an analysing some more tobacco ash, so not to worry about the house burning down. Or blowing up. This week anyway”

John chuckles a bit at that, his mood finally returning to something that doesn’t have him about to yell. Johns gotten used to Sherlock’s weird humour and it has become kind of comforting to have around and is something he’ll miss when he leaves.

Speaking of which he needs to tell Sherlock about him leaving again.

“Sherlock there’s something I need to discuss with you. Something important.”

“Thai” Sherlock answers simply stretching again after he’s finished putting his microscope away in his cupboard.

That’s something else Sherlock has started doing since John has returned to Baker Street, cleaning up after himself instead of leaving it for John to do. They’d negotiated a cupboard for Sherlock’s science things in the kitchen which he could keep there on the condition that he puts it away every night and cleans the table making sure it’s alright to eat off of.

Sherlock begins to head to the bathroom.

“What do you mean Thai? That’s not what I was going to talk to you about”

“I want Thai for dinner John, I’m going to have a shower. We’ll talk later. After Thai”

John relents and rings up the Thai place who barely has to take his name, address or order because they know John and Sherlock’s order so well. They say it will take 30 minutes but always arrives in less than 20 because they are well looked after buy the owner which Sherlock also helped, quite recently actually.

John hangs up and decides to pop the kettle on for a cuppa. He makes one for Sherlock and one for himself and puts them on the coffee table and turns the telly on, flicking over to the news. He’s going to need to know as much as he can about what he’s about to head off to and before sitting down decides to grab his laptop as well for extra research. And maybe begining to draft up a blog entry explaining he’ll be away for a while and won’t be following Sherlock in any cases.

Anyway 10 minutes later Sherlock emerges from the bathroom in his pyjamas, another set thank god, not the ones he spent all day in and takes his tea, muttering a thanks and goes near the fireplace to sit in his chair and flick through his phone.

John decides to have dinner and talk after, he thinks food might help the emptiness he’s begining to feel about leaving Sherlock, possibly in less than 36 hours.

The Thai arrives and John moves over to his chair and they eat their food in peace, with Sherlock occasionally pinching a piece of Johns phad Thai.

After they finish dinner and John cleaned up he returns to the lounge room to finally speak to Sherlock. But Sherlock had picked up his violin and is about to start playing.

“Sherlock put that down please I need to speak to you. Properly, without interruptions, it’s very important”

Sherlock sighs defeatedly but relents and rests his violin on the desk and sits down.

“Sherlock” he begins, not knowing how to explain that he’ll be leaving for a unknown amount of time and what he will be doing.

But then again, Sherlock left without saying goodbye and making everyone think he was dead. John sighs, he’d forgiven Sherlock for that ages ago but it’s still always there.

After a moment in his own mind palace Sherlock interrupts his thoughts.

“John, would you hurry up with whatever it is you need to tell me I would like to get back to my tobacco ash”

Johns confused,

“I thought you were about to play your violin”

“Yes I am John that will just help me think how best to compare the residue (science talk that John doesn’t understand) to the tobacco ash”

“ Ah right, violin to help u think”

“Yes John this isn’t new information to you”

“No, I know Sherlock I’m just a bit distracted to concentrate on your thought process at the moment”

“Yes yes John whatever you think just hurry and tell me please”

Sherlock also uses his manners now more often as well.

“Right, best just get it over with then aye” John turns to Sherlock and faces him head on, he really wants to know how Sherlock will react to this news, they’ve gotten even closer than they were before the fall since John has returned to Baker Street after Mary.

It took a bit of time and some arguments but they’re closer than ever now and there does feel like they need to move forward with their relationship but John doesn’t have time to think about that now.

“Sherlock I’m aware you don’t watch the news for whatever reason but at the moment there is a very bad political militia and extremist groups in Syria that have now moved to start killing and bombing civilians and civilian buildings and there was a hospital bombed just yesterday”

John takes a deep breathe, here comes the hard part.

“Yes John I might not watch the news but it doesn’t mean I don’t follow things that happen in the news or politics, mostly to annoy Mycroft if anything bad happens that has his finger prints all over it, it’s quite funny actually”

John doesn’t have time to think about Mycroft and his role in British and international affairs, he needs to tell Sherlock.

“Yes right, Listen Sherlock, after this bombing that’s happen they’re in dire need of reinforcements and they’ve asked.....”

vvvvvvvv,

Sherlock’s mobile vibrates on the table next to him. He reaches to grab it but hesitated to answer and looks over at John, as if asking for permission.

“It’s Lestrade” he says simply and John knows it must be a hard case as they’re calling Sherlock in at night.

“Go ahead, this can wait I suppose”

Sherlock answers his phone, speaking briefly with Lestrade and hangs up again.

“John, it’s a lovely locked room double murder, Lestrade wants us to meet him at the scene” he says, sounding simply delighted.

“Yeh lets go, we can talk when we’re done, or tommorow even”

“Wonderful, I’ll get changed and I’ll meet you down stairs”

Sherlock heads to his bedroom and calls over his shoulder.

“Do hail a cab john I’ll be right with you”

John sighs. Putting his shoes on and grabbing his jacket he makes his way downstairs to hail a cab.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story will start to pick up from here now hopefully. :)


	4. Chapter 4

They arrive at the crime scene and Sherlock pushes past Donovan standing by the door to get into the room, looking pretty much like a child on Christmas morning as he looks towards the scene before him.

John follows walking past Donovan, but hearing her mumble something under her breath about how Sherlock is psychotic and that he should have stayed dead makes him stop in his tracks.

He’s had just about enough of her ridicule and attitude towards Sherlock, who has not only helped her solved murders, earning her a promotion, he did not actually say anything to Anderson’s wife at the Christmas party years previous.

Leaning towards her, speaking low and using his best intimidating voice he says, “Sally, if I ever hear anything like that about Sherlock come out of your mouth again I’ll make sure there’s a third body in that room and don’t think I’m not being truthful, just ask Lestrade about the mysterious shooter from Sherlock and my first case. Or how about you just check my military records of the multiple fatalities I inflicted whilst I was in Afghanistan, don’t think I was just a doctor. Is that clear?”

Sally honestly looks shocked and a bit surprised by the anger in Johns voice but she realised long ago how deep Johns loyalty and protectiveness over Sherlock goes. If the crime scene she was called to just over 8 months ago with Sherlock covered in blood, some not his own, and John handing a gun over for evidence to some sort of government agent while his wife’s body was being wheeled away, is anything to go by.

Sally definitely knows not to mess with John Watson.

Her lack of response prompts John to repeat his question.

“Is that clear, Detective Donovan?”, using her rank to bring a air of professionalism back.

“Yes” she quickly replies.

John moves back out of her personal space he had invaded and switches back to normal John.

 “Now, where’s Greg? I need to speak to him about something”

“O-Over by the tape talking to press”

“Wonderful, thanks Sally, have a good night” he smiles at her and walks away.

Sally is left a bit unnerved by this side of John she’s never seen, but suddenly realises that Johns just as mad as Sherlock and just shrugs, going back to her work.

John waits about two meters away from where Lestrade is talking to press, to not alert them that he and Sherlock are at the crime scene. Lestrade doesn’t need the extra drama the press cause when he and Sherlock are at a crime scene.

Greg is obviously finished talking with them or just gotten too irritated and walked away. Definitely the latter, John thinks as Greg walks over sighing and running a hand through his disheveled hair.

He spots John and makes his way over. He shakes Johns hand,

“Alright John? Thank god you and Sherlock are here, I’ve had the press hounding me for the last hour and haven’t even had a chance to step away for a piss” Greg’s directness, as always is refreshing, and John chuckles,

“Yeh, Sherlock’s in the room as we speak, probably solved it by the time we get in there”

“Yeh probably, let get this over with anyway, had a date planned with a friend of a friend, seemed nice but she wasn’t really understanding about me cancelling and I should apologise”

“A date Greg?, finally over Sharon then”

“Yeh well catching her in bed with the PE teacher wasn’t exactly surprising but we said we would make a real go of making the marriage work but she couldn’t even do that”

“Sorry Greg, I know how it feels, not a great feeling when you catch your wife having an affair” John sighed, that’s when everything went to shit, catching Mary in bed with Peter.

“Shit, sorry mate, I know it’s still raw for you with how everything ended as well but that day was just crap from start to finish, catching Sharon in bed then having to speed over to the call out where you and Sherlock were was an absolute nightmare”

“Well at least you didn’t get accused of cheating first, and with your ex-flatmate for a start”

“Nah just using the bi-weekly meetings with the fancy bloke in the suit and limo as her ammo, saying that I was ‘flirting’ and making advances towards him even when she was shagging another bloke while we were still together,”

“Yeh sounds like we both need a night at the pub, and soon” John says, thinking it better be really soon because he leaves in less than 36 hours.

“Yeh mate sounds good, better wrap this case up first though”

And as if by magic Sherlock appeared practically bouncing over to them with excitement.

“JOHN, I have a theory about what happened and it obviously isn’t a double suicide like Donovan suggested, really wondering why she got that promotion, but I do have a lead, so if you would kindly follow me John we shall go to St.Barts and Molly already has a cadaver ready for me to test my theory, should be fun. Come along John, goodbye Geoffrey”

Sherlock basically runs towards the Main Street to hail a cab.

“Right I’m off then Greg, call me about that pub night when this is all over, best be on my way”

“HURRY JOHN”

Sherlock yells when the cab pulls up beside him.

“Right, will do, good luck with that”.

John has to jog over to get in the cab so Sherlock doesn’t leave without him, the adrenaline already beginning to course through his veins.

God, he’s gonna miss this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know that maybe the characters aren’t how they are in the show but I felt like changing them up a bit to suit the story. Hope its okay.


	5. Chapter 5

They spend the next 12 hours running from St Bart’s to the crime scene to a suspects house.

Then chasing said suspect only to have him be innocent and then back to St Bart’s and then down to Scotland Yard to speak again to Lestrade.

Having only had 2 hours sleep from a nap at his desk, Lestrade is sleep deprived and has the shakes as he practically inhales his seventh or eighth coffee in 3 hours, he honestly can’t remember, having more than a dozen or two throughout the night.

So when Sherlock energetically comes through his office door going off about the tread marks on the carpet from the sole of a women’s heel, he just shuts his eyes and rest his head on the desk trying to will his oncoming headache away.

“George are you even listening to me? I need to see the crime scene evidence again because your clueless staff have already cleaned up the crime scene without me solving the case. Honestly they were less useless when Anderson was here and he was an idiot”

“Sherlock!”

John says sternly from where he is leaning against the couch in Lestrade’s office, looking a bit worse for wear himself.

“Bit not good John?” Sherlock asks looking towards him with a expression Lestrades never seen before.

“Yeh” John smiles and says softly “Bit not good”

Sherlock grins back at him and Greg suddenly feels uncomfortable, like he’s interrupting something when they clearly have just come barging into his office.

Greg clears his throat,

”Right, so you need the evidence again, I’ll have to call Daniels, he was in charge of the bagging and tagging last night, just hang on a tick and you can see your evidence.”

He’s says picking up the phone. He speaks to Daniels and directs Sherlock to the conference room he put the evidence in, Daniels mumbled something about Donovan saying The Freak will want to see the evidence again probably so don’t bother putting it in storage yet cause somethings bound to go missing.

Greg really wishes he could just nap again on his desk but he has a feeling Sherlock is close to solving it so he gulps down the remainder of his coffee and follows them through the yard to the conference room.

The next hour is basically just Sherlock spreading all the evidence and photos of the crime scene all over the conference room and pacing the room.

John tries to give him a cup of tea to which Sherlock just looks insulted and says

“Can’t have tea right now John, I’m thinking and you’re being very distracting, please wait in the corridor until I’m done”

John just sighs and walks out the door, just leaning on the wall next to it leaving the door open, needing to hear Sherlock’s mumbling.

He now has less than 24 hours left before he has to leave. And if he’s being completely honestly he can’t bear the thought of leaving Sherlock but he just has to, his country needs him and if there’s anything John Watson loves move than Sherlock Holmes, it’s his country. He tucks that last revealation away to think about later, or probably never, he doesn’t have time for any of that.

He need to make sure Sherlock will be okay and looked after while he’s gone. He still doesn’t know how Sherlock will react, probably not even care that Johns leaving, won’t even notice he’s gone most of the time.

A loud shout of “JOHN, I’ve got it, get back in here”, shakes him out of his thoughts, returning to the room.

Sherlock is absolutely ecstatic and starts to pace while he deduces and John just stands there and watches Sherlock put the pieces together.

“and that’s why there wasn’t a murder weapon!”

Sherlock beams at John and their eyes lock, John always loves how Sherlock looks when he’s solved a case.

Greg coughs awkwardly, still in the room, not that either of them notice but they both turn to look at him and at the same time Johns phone rings.

He steps out to take it seeing that it’s Mycroft calling, slightly confused.

“Hello Mycroft, to what do I owe the pleasure”

“Yes Hello John, I’m calling to see how Sherlock’s taken the news, I assume you’ve told him you’re deploying again”

“How do you even, no you know what I don’t want to know how you know about me maybe leaving then. Also I’ve not told him yet Mycroft as I haven’t heard back to say that I passed all the tests so there’s a chance I may not even be going”

John knows that’s a lie, the army would take back John Watson without an arm attached.

“You’ve not received the call yet? I’ve got the results right here, they came about 20 minutes ago so I assumed that they would have called you. Well, they should’ve called you already, I really must look into them, anyway the results came back all clear. You’re leaving at 0600 hours tomorrow morning. That’s in 18 hours John, you need to tell him soon. I’ll have your uniform sent over to you this morning. Good day.”

And hangs up.

John has a moment to understand everything Mycroft has just told him and tried not to think about some of the stuff Mycroft’s involved in.

He does really need to tell Sherlock. But then his phone rings again, and this time it’s the army Doctor calling.

“Hello John, I’ve just had your results come in. You’re all clear to be deployed, the main office has asked me to tell you that you’re to be at the main barracks for a flight out at 0600 hours tomorrow mrow morning” John just sighs,

“So I’m to go the barracks first? I’ll be going out on the cargo flight?”

“Yes that is correct John, given the situation at the moment, the British government had suspended all international flights in and out of Syria. The only exception is military planes of course, and you’ll be having a stop off at Istanbul in Turkey to refuel”

“Right, I’ll get packing tonight and make my way out to the Barack’s on the morning then, thanks for that”

They says their goodbyes and John turns to go back into the conference room but is stopped my Lestrade standing by the door, obviously having heard Johns call.

“Okay so I’m guessing you heard the end of that then?”

“Yes I did John, what this about going to the barracks again? Just meeting some old friends I hope”

“Nothing so simple I’m afraid Greg, I assume you’ve seen the news about Syria”

A look of realisation crosses over Greg’s face.

“No John tell me you’re not going over there, they can survive without you I’m sure” he’s already knows what Johns about to say.

“Unfortunately the army calls and I have and will always answer”

“John what about Sherlock?”

“I’ve not told him yet, I’ll do it when we get home. He’s been too distracted to hear this now”

“God John, I can’t believe you’ll be leaving, it feels like we just got you back. Sherlock will be such an arsehole when your gone”

John laughs, “He’s always been an arsehole Greg, whether I’m here or not”

“Yeh that’s true”

“Better get back in there, he’ll need sleep after the case”.

After wrapping up the case Sherlock and John finally leave Scotland Yard and catch a Cab back to Baker Street. Sherlock barely manages to make it up the stairs to their apartment as the fatigue settles in and John knows he has to tell him soon because if Sherlock falls asleep now, the next time he wakes up John will already be gone.

John takes off his coat and shoes by the door and heads into the kitchen, Sherlock making his way to the bathroom.

“Don’t take too long Sherlock I still need to speak to you” the only reply John gets is the sound of the bathroom door closing.

John makes himself and Sherlock a cup of tea each and scrounges up some toast for a sort of late breakfast early lunch as it’s only about ten o’clock, having spent the better part of 14 hours on the case.

Settling into his chair John begins to make a list of things he needs to do before he leaves. He faintly hears the door adjacent to Sherlocks room close and after Sherlock doesn’t appear ten minutes later goes searching for his flatmate.

Only to find him passed out face first onto his bed, luckily making it into some pyjamas before doing so, not that John would have minded.

He sighs and grabs a blanket to cover Sherlock with, turns the light off and closes the door. He better get started on that list, theres a lot to sort out before he leaves.


	6. Chapter 6

John begins to get his shit in order despite being tired after such a nonstop case but he can’t even afford a little nap, going to bed early tonight to catch up on sleep will be the best thing to do.

Mycroft texts to say he will send someone to deliver his new kit and duffel bag. He leaves everything out on the bed he will need to pack which isn’t much because he’s John Watson, soldier again, and takes time to clean up the flat the best he can.

He knows Sherlock won’t bother when he’s gone. John takes his old dog tags out of his bedside drawer and the only two photos of him and Sherlock, one at his wedding and the night they met and put them with his stuff to pack.

He goes shopping and gets money out to leave Mrs Hudson for rent until he returns and lots of unperishable foods for the cupboards and stocks everything for Sherlock, who is still asleep. John’s uniform and baggage arrive from the base but Mrs Hudson answers the door and lets them up to the flat knowing Mycroft’s men and follows when they bring it up.

She is naturally curious and inquires as to the package when the delivery men leave and so John sits her down with a cuppa and tells her where he’s going. She weeps and blubbers loud enough it wakes Sherlock, who sort of stumbles into the room and is still a bit disoriented having only slept 5-6 hours after a long case and the sight of Sherlock makes her cry louder.

Sherlock retreats to the bathroom and John escorts Mrs hudson back downstairs and comforts her for a while.

John makes his was back upstairs and can hear that Sherlock has picked up his violin and begins to play a song that John particularly likes, he doesn’t know what it’s called though.

He stands and leans on the flat door and watches Sherlock play for a bit. When Sherlock finishes he places his violin back in his case and looks at John from the mirror above the fireplace.

“It’s rude to stare John” he says, not even a hint of actually being annoyed, and smiles at John.

“You love the attention Sherlock, always have”

“Only if it’s from you John”

Despite them not even facing each other, the room suddenly feels too hot for John, who breaks the eye contact in the mirror and clears his throat.

Sherlock does turn to face John now and sees John’s reddening face he hadn’t seen through the slightly dirty mirror.

Interesting.

John clears his throat again,

“Sherlock, we should go to Angelo’s tonight for dinner, I still have to talk to you”.

Sherlock’s genuinely intrigued now as to what John wants to talk about. Part of him hopes that John want’s to talk about the progression of their relationship, but he shakes that thought away. John’s not gay, as he reminds Sherlock constantly, and no matter what Sherlock may have thought John could have felt for him, he knows that after everything with Mary, John would never be able to look at him like that, or anyone probably ever.

“Yes John, Angelo’s sounds perfect”

They smile again and John nods.

John leaves to his room and as they have a few hours before dinner, he decides to take his time and indulge in things he won’t be able to have for a long while. He hops in the shower for a wank and a quick wash and then fills the bath and adds some bubbles and waits for it to fill as he shaves.

He ducks quickly into the kitchen and grabs a couple beers and settles into the bathtub with them. Long soaks in the bath are one of John’s guilty pleasures, he hasn’t had one in ages.

He looses track of time while he soaks and must have fallen asleep because he wakes to a knock on the bathroom door.

“John? John it’s nearly six o’clock, I was hoping to have a shower before we leave if you wouldn’t mind”

“You can wait a bit can’t you I’m enjoying myself”

“John if you’re not out in one minute I’m coming in there whether you like it or not”

John thinks he would like that but looks down to his bath water, the bubbles have dissipated and decides that he doesn’t particularly want to frighten his flatmate.

“Yeh yeh I’m coming out now give me a minute”

He towels off quickly and wraps it around his waist. He forgot to bring his clothes downstairs with him so he just grabs his discarded clothes from earlier and opens the bathroom door.

Sherlock is standing right in front of the door when it opens and is distracted by Johns strong arms and light trail of golden hair that dips below Johns towel, oh how he would like to see where that trail goes.

John must catch him staring and clears his throat,

“Sherlock, would you mind moving aside? I’m getting a bit cold standing here without any clothes on”

Sherlock is too distracted to notice Johns face has gone bright red because of the way Sherlock is staring at him, but manages to move aside, very unsteady on his feet, so John can leave the bathroom.

He watches John walk down the hallway and around the corner before he finally come back to his senses and enters the bathroom, still very much distracted by John.

After dressing in his best clothes, that means his blue jumper Sherlock got him for Christmas one year, he grabs his wallet and wanders back downstairs to sit in his chair and wait for Sherlock.

When Sherlock emerges from his room he looks gorgeous in a dark charcoal suit that John has never seen before.

They put there coats on without saying a word and walking out onto the street Sherlock lets John hail a cab and opens the door for him as well.

As they move through the streets to Angelo’s, they catch themselves watching each other through the reflection of the dark windows.

John can’t help think that it feels a lot like a date. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if it feels a bit rushed


	7. Chapter 7

When they arrive at dinner Angelo has their table set up and if either of them notice the candles or one red rose, neither of them say anything. Angelo’s looks pleased with himself as they have a chat to him and then order.

John decides to wait until after dinner to tell Sherlock, no use ruining a good meal, his last at Angelo’s for a while.

They chat about the case from yesterday and Sherlock’s suddenly more animated as he explains to John his deductions, Johns already heard them but he loves the way Sherlock gets when he’s deducing.

When Sherlock finishes John just barely whispers “Amazing” and Sherlock beams, their eyes lock and John smiles back.

Their connection is broken when a waiter arrives with their food. They both seem absolutely starving and basically inhale their food until they’re stuffed full.

Angelo brings desert for them, just simple churros with chocolate dipping sauce. Sherlock gets it all over his face and John can’t stop laughing, Sherlock’s annoyed at first,

“Stop laughing at me John, it’s very hard not to get the sauce everywhere”

John just laughs harder and Sherlock eventually joins.

They calm down and Sherlock tries to get the syrup off with his tongue, which nearly sets John off laughing again, so he resorts to a napkin.

“Sherlock I’m going away”.

It comes out of nowhere and John didn’t know why he has said it then.

Sherlock just looks confused.

“Conference for work John?” he asks.

“No, I’ll be gone for a while Sherlock, I don’t know when I’ll be back”

“Why? Where are yo...” Sherlock’s a genius and he figures it out before John even has to say something.

John can practically see the cogs turning in Sherlock’s head.

“That phone call, you leaving for most of the day, you told me of a bombing yesterday, the pitying look from Lestrade this morning, that delivery earlier. Blubbering Mrs Hudson”

Sherlock doesn’t say anything and then he explodes, angrier than John has seen him in a while.

“SYRIA! You’re going back to war and you think that’s a good idea John, you’re not fit enough to go. You still have a shoulder injury from the last time you were at war, when you got SHOT!”

Sherlock’s voice has raised significantly and the other few patrons that are finishing their meal start to look over. Sherlock calms down suddenly.

“No you’re not going, even if you were fit for active duty, which I doubt, I won’t let you go.”

“Sherlock it’s not your decision, it’s mine. And I’ve already been cleared for active duty. I deploy in the morning”

“No you’re not leaving me.”

Sherlock looks at John almost pleadingly, John nearly relents and says he’ll stay.

But John Watson has to serve his country. “I have to go Sherlock”

The grinding sound of Sherlock chair being dragged backwards alerts John to the fact Sherlock is leaving and he watches Sherlock storm out of he restaurant and hurries to follow him.

Throwing some money on the table as he grabs his coat. 

”Sorry Angelo” John yells as he races out the door.

Sherlock has already hailed a cab and is about to shut the door but John manages to grab it before he closes it and climbs in after Sherlock.

The ride to Baker Street is quiet and layered with tension, neither wants to speak now but when they get home they will both have a lot to say.

The car doesn’t even fully stop before Sherlock jumps out towards the door and leaves John to throw some money at the cab driver and apologise to him as well. Sherlock has the door opened and as soon as John closes the door behind him the begin to yell at each other.

“If you leave again John you will get shot, who knows if you’ll even survive this time. I won’t allow it”

“You can’t stop me Sherlock, I’m a doctor so I won’t be in the main action anyway”

“Don’t give me that John I know why they’ve called you back and not any other doctor. With the way you shoot you would have to have had a lot of practice so I know you’re not a normal doctor John, don’t insult me”.

Sherlock basically stomps up the stairs to their flat and John follows.

“Really Sherlock? Don’t insult you? You basically insult me on a daily basis and I’m not to insult you. The worlds only consulting detective. I thought you were too smart to be insulted.”

They stop again in front of the flat door to argue some more.

0Now you’re just being condescending John it’s an unattractive quality on you and does nothing to help your point that this is a good idea”

“I know it’s not a good idea Sherlock, I know I could be killed but I have to go”

“Why are you going John? You’ll only be killed. Stay here with me. Don’t abandon me”

John knows he doesn’t mean it but suddenly he’s even more furious.

“Don’t abandon you?! That’s a bit rich don’t you think. I’m sorry Sherlock I think you’ve forgotten the bit where you were dead for two years. I know you’ve got that eidetic memory so you can’t have forgotten that and I’m the one abandoning you?”

Sherlock finally slams the door open and yells back at John, not noticing the flat full of people.

“If you leave tomorrow John. Don’t bother coming back at all”

He flings his coat off and finally looks around the room. John is stood silently by the door.

The silence is deafening despite there being a flat filled with people.

Finally, Lestrade coughs and Mrs Hudson takes that as her sign to walk over and try to calm down a seething Sherlock.

“Oh boys, now’s not the time to have a domestic. I’ve invited some of your friends over as a goodbye to John”

“There’s no need Mrs Hudson, Johns not going anywhere”

He glares at John still standing in the door way. John just signs,

“Yes I am Sherlock. I leave in the morning”

Sherlock puts his jacket back on.

“My last statement still stands John. If you leave. Don’t come back. I won’t be waiting for you.”

There’s a deeper meaning to that comment and John doesn’t have time to dig.

Before he can respond Mycroft, who is leaning against the fire place very effortlessly put together like always speaks up.

“Brother mine, please behave in front of guests, John is merely serving his country as you did while you were away. At least he’s not lying to his loved ones about being dead”

“Oh shut up Mycroft”

Mycroft’s face shows signs of annoyance but is quickly back to his constant nonchalance expression.

“Sherlock!, there’s no use for that language” Mrs Hudson sounds appalled.

John finally enters and takes off his coat, hanging it up

. He walks to Sherlock and leans close, whispering, “Sherlock, let’s not fight now while our friends are here”

“Our friends John? OUR FRIENDS! Don’t you mean your friends, our landlady and my brother.”

He says loud enough for everyone to hear, Sherlock is clearly still quite angry.

“Oh Sherlock don’t be like that, everyone here loves you”

“Mrs Hudson ever the optimist, why are you here? Why do you continue to impose yourselves on our lives? You’re just our landlady”

John groans on the inside, here we go.

Sherlock’s about to alienate everyone who would care for him while he’s gone.

“Molly is the only person who is here for me and even as we speak she’s texting her new boyfriend. She’s clearly here out of obligation to an old friendship and would rather be somewhere else.”

He says, gesturing to Molly who’s sitting on the couch next to Mrs Hudson.

“My brothers only here to be a prick”

“Sherlock!”

“And to rub it in that everyone leaves me eventually, and a side prize is that he gets to ogle Grant while doing so”

“Sherlock stop it”

Mycroft has a small ting of red on his cheeks from Sherlock’s last comment but his words don’t deter Sherlock from his speech.

“And speaking of George, he is actually here because he and John are friends but being here is the closest thing he gets to other human interaction that isn’t his work colleagues or his delivery boy after his divorce”

“Sherlock stop it, you’re pissing everyone off” John’s angry again.

“No don’t worry John I was just leaving. Leaving my own flat that I’ve been driven out of by a bunch a idiots who are only here to see you one last time before you get shot again and worse, killed.”

“SHERLOCK”

Sherlock doesn’t stay a second longer and flys down the stairs with John hot on his heels.

“Sherlock don’t run away, we can talk about this calmly”

Out on the footpath Sherlock just walks faster to loose John and disappears around a corner. John stops walking, knows he won’t catch Sherlock.

He just stands there staring off into the space where Sherlock has just left, he thinks that that might have been the last glimpse of Sherlock Holmes he ever sees.

Eventually he shivers, having forgotten his coat and turns back around towards the flat.

When he walks back inside, Molly is putting her jacket on and saying goodbye to Mrs Hudson.

She hugs John as she leaves whispering in his ear.

“Don’t worry John, we know he doesn’t mean it really. He’s just upset he’s losing you. We will take care of him for you.” John thanks her and she leaves.

Both Lestrade and Mycroft are still there as well but move to put on their coats.

“Sorry he was a bit of a prick Greg, you know he doesn’t mean it”

“Yeh I know mate. He’s Sherlock bloody Holmes, he wouldn’t be him if he wasn’t a prick occasionally” John laughs lightly.

“Best be off then, dunno if I’ll be able to catch a cab this late so I better make my way to the tube. Or I’ll have to harass Sally into picking me up”

Mycroft clears his throat, standing by the door leaning on his umbrella.

“I can take you home Detective Inspector, if you are in need of transportation”

Greg blushes slightly but nods and accepts Mycroft’s offer. They say goodbye to John and leave together, getting into the car Mycroft has waiting.

John finally turns to Mrs Hudson who has finished clearing up the tea cups she had made for everyone.

“I’m so sorry about Sherlock tonight Mrs Hudson. He really didn’t mean it, he loves you like a mother.”

“I know dear, he’s just upset about losing his best friend”

She hugs John hard and says a goodbye and finally goes downstairs.

John leaves the flat door unlocked for Sherlock when he finally comes home and has a shower, changing for bed.

He double checks he has everything packed and leaves his bag at the end of his bed and his uniform hanging up. As he received new dog tags he leaves his old ones on his bedside table.

John falls asleep after a while, still worrying about Sherlock but exhausted after not having slept in more than a day.

So much has happened and tomorrow he leaves.

Faintly late in the night he hears the front door and Sherlocks bedroom door close.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. Sorry about Sherlock being a bit of an arsehole. He’ll get better I promise.


	8. Chapter 8

Johns alarm wakes him early the next morning and he shuffles downstairs to the bathroom.

Dressed in his military fatigues once again he tucks his dog tags into his shirt and places his duffle bag near the flat door.

Mycroft has texted and has arranged a car to take John to the base as he wouldn’t be able to get a cab this early. He walks down the hallways to Sherlock’s room and knocks lightly, both wanting to wake Sherlock up and not wanting to.

He gets no answer but can hear Sherlock moving about in his room, clearly awake.

“Sherlock, I’m leaving now. I’m not sure when I’ll be back. I don’t want to leave while you’re still angry at me”.

The only response he gets is silence. “Sherlock please. I have to leave now. I just want to say goodbye.”

Silence is the only goodbye he gets from Sherlock. John places his hand on the door.

“Okay I’m leaving now. Goodbye Sherlock. I’ll...I’ll miss you”

He decides not to dwell anymore and if he waits any longer he’ll be late. He grabs his duffle and walks down the stairs to the waiting car.

He’s about to get in when he feels eyes watching him and turns to the flat window.

Despite the curtains, John can see Sherlock standing and watching him. John raises his hand as a goodbye and before he can change his mind gets into the car and lets it take him away. He doesn’t look back knowing he may jump out of the car and sprint back to the flat.

Sherlock has raised his hand to the window and watches the the car turn around the bend and out of his sight.

He knows that he may never see John again.

The car takes John to the base and upon arrival John puts his beret on, grabs his duffle and exits the car.

He’s Captain John Watson once again and mutters “Into battle” to himself as he walks towards the offices.

After they debrief him they direct him towards the airfield at the back of the base and he greets his commanding officer Lieutenant Colonel H. Ford and two subordinates that will be going with them.

The two Privates are twin brothers Fred and George White, who joined together only eight weeks ago, having been rushed through training and are being sent straight into the crossfire.

Their bags are loaded on board and they are seated in the cargo plane.

“I just have to say it’s an honour to meet you Doctor Watson.”

This comes from Fred.

“You will address your superior officer with the correct title of Captain”

Lieutenant Colonel Ford seems to be all business and John respects him for that.

“Oh I’m so sorry sir, we just meant we followed Doctor, I mean Captain Watson’s blog. And his history with the army is what inspired us to join”

At first John’s confused but then he realises that he means his blog about him and Sherlock.

“Thanks.”

Is all he can say because since he left the flat he’s been purposely trying to forget Sherlock, but he knows it wouldn’t last long. He just hoped he would have landed in Syria before he decided to turn back around and go home.

They get the hint that his short response means he doesn’t want to talk about it and before they can talk to him again the cargo planes engines roars to life.

“It’s approximately three hours and forty five minutes to the Istanbul base to reload and refuel and then we’ll be heading into Aleppo to land and will be joining a convoy that is returning to the Hamra base. It’s only reachable via the all terrain vehicles and is covered by the enemy forces to the south that hair antiaircraft guns and do not permit aircrafts. I will brief you when we land in Istanbul but for now we have a short journey ahead of us and try to use this time to get some rest because we will not be stoping until we reach the Hamra base”

John can barely hear a word he’s saying but gets the general idea of what’s happening. The plane takes off and he uses his flight time to catch up on rest the Lieutenant Colonel has suggested. It’s going to be a long day.

When they land in Istanbul the Lieutenant Colonel briefs them again on what exactly will happen when they finally land in Syria. Since it’s an active war zone they will be handed packs and weapons immediately and the duffle bags will be put into the cargo truck. They will be placed in one of the trucks or jeeps and will have to be on the lookout for incoming enemies and land mines.

They are also given a description of what land mines are and what to look for as well as the flag the enemy use as their symbol of rebellion. They are once again loaded back onto the cargo plane and they don’t arrive in Aleppo until mid afternoon.

“We won’t arrive in Hamra until late tonight or early tomorrow morning depending on how smooth the ride is.”

They are greeted in Aleppo by the rest of the convoy and some of the local forces that are fighting with them and handed weapons and packs.

It takes them a long time to arrive at the Hamra base and when they arrive John has nearly been away from Sherlock for twenty hours, he wonders what Sherlock would be doing right now while John is unloading from the truck.

They are debriefed and shown around the base, directed to their quarters and told when to report in the morning.

As John is a captain he only has to share quarters with three other soldiers unlike the twins who have to share with another thirteen in one of the main tents for Privates.

John has been told that he is on the patrol at 1200 hours so he gets some rest but has also been told he’s to meet the Lieutenant Colonel Ford and his old Colonel Peterson at 0900 hours so he’ll get nearly six hours if he gets to sleep now.

Most of the base is asleep as it is nearly three o’clock in the morning but there are still Soldiers doing the night rounds and staying guard, one of whom is apparently someone John has to share the quarters with as there is only two other men fast asleep.

John quickly gets ready for sleep and hops into his stretcher bed, it’s not as comfy as his bed at home but he better get used to it as this is his life now for who knows how long.

John drifts to sleep to thoughts of what Sherlock would be doing now and hopes he’ll see him again.

Time will tell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, so I know that some of this military stuff will be incorrect but I’ve tried my best to research it all but feel free to correct me please. Also I hope you’re still reading. :)


	9. The Middle

John wakes at 0800 hours to people talking outside his tent and quickly changes into his patrol gear and heads out to find where to report.

In the daylight John can see the base better, he notices the concrete walls with barbed wire on the top and the four guarded checkpoints to enter and leave through.

The medical area is actually quite a large cement building as well as the sheds and bunkers that he assumes hold weapons and ammunition.

There are small buildings with writing on the door he assumes are for the senior officers and the tents for the soldiers to sleep in are actual structures made with heavy duty canvas and metal. There a plenty of people walking around, some armed, some not, all wearing the same as him except maybe those without the top jacket layer of the uniform.

The kitchen is just a small shed with a service window to collect food from and in front of that is an area with long benches to sit at to eat, only covered by a shade sail.

The whole place looks very familiar to the set up in Afghanistan and John feels very relaxed despite the circumstances. John has some time before he’s due to meet the Colonel so he makes his way to the kitchen window to grab some breakfast and thanks the man serving him.

He sits alone on the long benches by himself not avoiding people but not yet ready to mingle, he wants to just get to his meeting with the Colonel and Lieutenant Colonel so he know where they will place him.

He doesn’t notice the strange looks some people are giving him and barely notices someone has sat in front of him.

John looks up and realises someone has sat down.

“So you’re the famous Captain John Watson M.D. I’m Staff Sergeant Sarah Smith, a mouthful I know but everyone just calls me S.”

She extends her hand and John shakes it.

0I don’t know about famous, but yes I’m John Watson”

“Definitely famous around here mate, everyone’s heard about the Veteran running around London doing more dangerous things then when he was actually in the army. A couple of us follow your blog, my fiancé included, you’ll meet him later, he’s around here somewhere, but he’s a doctor like you so you’ll run into him eventually, it’s not a very large base but it’s enough for a couple battalions”

John just nods and listens to her go on about her military history and how long she’s been deployed for and then suddenly there’s another two people sitting down with them, either side of him.

It’s the Privates from the flight over, they’ve obviously spotted him and come over to sit with a friendly face as they haven’t been assigned to a squad yet either.

“Morning” they say in unison and John says a greeting in return and the Staff Sergeant introduces herself to both of them and it takes the topic off him for now.

He checks his watch and excuses himself from the table, dropping his bowl back at the kitchen window and makes his way to the Colonels office.

On his way he notices about ten people unloading one of the supplies trucks that came with them in the convoy the previous night.

John can’t see what’s in the containers but he hears a low whistle of appreciation and a following comment of “Those are some fresh riffles.”

He arrives at the office at exactly 0858 and knocks on the door twice. The door is opened by the Lieutenant Colonel from the plane but there are two other people in the room, his old friend Colonel Peterson and someone he doesn’t know.

After he walks in and addresses his superiors the Colonel come over and give him a big hug.

“Really good to see you John, how was the ride over?”

He seems genuinely happy to see John and John feels the same, not having seen anyone from his previous tour in Afghanistan other than Major Sholto at his wedding and Mike Stanford but that’s very rare these days.

“Yeh good, the ride on the plane was a bit rough but nothing I’ve not handled before.”

“Wonderful, Captain John Watson I’d like to introduce you to Lieutenant Colonel April Knight, and you’ve already met Lieutenant Colonel Henry Ford.”

John shakes Lieutenant Colonel Knight’s hand.

“The Lieutenant Colonel will be the head of the squad you will be placed in and because of your minor celebrity status the squad will be at least eight soldiers and you will have two Lieutenant’s whose job will be to guard and protect you at all times. While we assign these to you, you will still have another Captain assigned to your squad as well as another lower ranking officer and we will be placing the two new Privates with you as well.”

Johns still stuck at the first bit,

“Permission to speak freely Colonel.”

The Colonel nods.

“You said my minor celebrity status? What do you mean by that, I’m not related to the queen or anything, so I’m just an ordinary soldier”

“I’m sure you’re aware of your presence in the papers due to your association with Sherlock Holmes. If it was up to me we wouldn’t have two men specificity protecting you since I know you can take care of yourself but these orders come from an office of a very important government official whose name has been redacted for obvious reasons. We have received compensation in the form of upgraded supplies for our trouble”

Only Mycroft bloody Holmes would get away with bribing the military with weapons.

“Also there is a recreation room in the main building with a tv and some books for when you have down time and also we’ve updated the communications room with two phones and a computer to email or Skype family members but because of availability you only get one hour each week to use this facility.”

After he’s been briefed about the base and the patrol he will be going on later with his squad, he is dismissed and LC Knight follows him out the door.

She suggests they move to the seating area near the kitchen and they take a seat opposite each other.

“So, Captain Watson I’ve read your file from your previous tour and I am impressed but I have to say that I was not impressed with your impulsiveness. You need to know that I do not tolerate insubordination in any way in my squad and if you do you will be reprimanded, I don’t care which government official’s brother you’re sleeping with.”

John doesn’t even know how respond so he just nods.

“So, now that he business is out of the way, how’s Myc? He still being annoying and stubborn? I bet he hates you, egging his brother on to be even more daring.”

John doesn’t even know how to respond, she’s changed into a completely different person to the professional LC she was a second ago.

“Sorry how do you know Mycroft? And for the record I’m not actually sleeping with Sherlock”

“Bet you want to though. I went to college with Myc, we had a class together. I admired his focus and determination to be the best. Followed him round a bit to try to get him in the sack, as all us rebellious college girls did, but after awhile he got annoyed and told me he was asexual and then we became friends. Well, Mycroft’s version of friends where we send each other a Christmas card each year and when we see each other every two to five years at galas or benefits for the Veterans or something we stand next to each other and make small talk to avoid unwanted guests bugging us”

John honestly has no words, she’s obviously telling the truth because really that’s Mycroft exactly and also he can’t take in all the new information he’s just received.

Just as suddenly as she changed to this person in front of him another Captain approach’s and she changed back to the LC she was before. The other captain informs her that they need to start gearing up for patrol. She dismisses him and gets John to follow her to the pack and weapons building.

While they get ready John spots the twins and he shows them how to properly strap their packs up the best. They follow Knight out to the back of the base where the trucks and jeeps are and there are two men John has not met before, the Captain that interrupted them before and SS Smith waiting for them.

The two men do not introduce themselves and obviously they are the ones assigned to protect John. Great, he thinks, babysitters is exactly what he needs. But SS Smith greets John and they talk while they leave the base.

There patrol is pretty standard and nothing exciting happens and Johns okay with that, a calm first day is what he needs. When they return to base he promises the twins that he’ll meet them for dinner later but goes to the communication room and tries to call Sherlock.

He doesn’t answer even after three rings so John tries Skype and when he gets no answer from that he types a short email telling him how he is and asking him to answer a phone call next time.

John decides to have a quick wash before dinner and just as he reaches his tent there’s a commotion from the west gate and a patrol flies in.

Suddenly it’s all go and John runs to the trucks pulling up and seeing the many wounded men, jumps into Doctor Watson mode.

Someone explains that the company was attacked coming back from the other base about 200 kilometres away and were coming to join up with the remaining people here. John helps take a stretcher into the medical tent and begins work, some of the men are lucky to be alive and some have missing limbs they’ll never get back.

There’s another doctor working along side him and they pass things back and forth and finally after they get the first people stitched up another is placed in front of them.

They set to work.

It’s going to be a long night.

When the last patient is cleared and moved to the medical bays John is honestly shocked to not have another person put down in front of him. John pulls of his blood soaked gloves and finally exits the tent to see the sun just rising on the horizon.

So much for a calm first day, he thinks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I got sick of repeating everyone’s rank so LC is Lieutenant Colonel and SS is Staff Sergeant. Also I know some of the military stuff is incorrect, I’m sorry. Also my OG characters are a bit different to normal Sherlock universe characters but I wanted to lighten things up a bit.


	10. Chapter 10

Sherlock was insufferable from the minute John left.

Playing his violin loud enough to wake up Mrs Hudson who stumbled up the stairs with her dressing gown on and hair in disarray.

“Sherlock dear, go back to bed, it not even six in the morning.”

Sherlock responded by playing an even louder and faster tempo song.

Mrs Hudson just pulled her gown tighter around her and sighed, closing the flat door as she wandered back downstairs.

This continued until the afternoon, Mrs Hudson bringing lunch and tea up but Sherlock didn’t even acknowledge she was there. Sherlock got sick of playing and lay down on the couch in his mind palace and only when his phone rang in his bedroom did he get up.

It was only Myrcroft so he didn’t bother answering. He checked his email for interesting cases but had only two boring ones so he solved them and decided to finish his experiment in the kitchen.

When Sherlock has finally finished his experiment it’s probably somewhere after midnight so he just figures he’ll go to sleep.

He didn’t realise John leaving meant he’d be bored all the time because he had no one to annoy.

Sherlock woke a few hours later to a clatter in the kitchen, he checked his clock, it being after nine Mrs Hudson would already be at lawn bowls.

Sherlock shot out of bed grabbing his dressing gown and dashed to the kitchen. John.

It would have to be John. He didn’t really leave, it was just a terrible dream Sherlock had.

But as he entered the kitchen he heard someone swear, someone who was not John.

“Gavin, what are you doing in my flat”

Greg not having heard Sherlock enter was surprised and dropped whatever he had in his hand again.

“Just came to check up on you Sherlock, we’re all a bit worried how you’ve been handling things. Dropping some food off as well”

“I’m handling things fine Gavin, without John around I can do what I like, when I like and stay up all night without anyone pestering me to sleep or eat.”

“Speaking of food, Mrs Hudson has left some lunch in the fridge for later on as well as what I’ve brought”

“Gavin, unless you have a case for me I would prefer it if you could leave, I’m very busy today”

“Okay Sherlock, I’ll try and get a case for you soon”

Sherlock listens to him leave and then flops onto the couch.

Sherlock’s bored.

Really bored. With no John to constantly annoy him to actually do things there is no point to actually doing any of the things that annoy John. He built most of his day around annoying John.

Sherlock sighs and pulls his phone out of his dressing gown and texts Lestrade despite the fact he just left. Then he checks his email and then his blog and nothing.

It’s like the universe knew John was leaving and wanted Sherlock to suffer after being rude and not saying goodbye.

He didn’t want to say goodbye to John because he felt that if he said it then it would be goodbye forever.

Sherlock doesn’t like the idea of John at war, he knows he can handle himself but the thought of John not coming home makes Sherlock angry and miserable at the same time.

Finally he gives up and texts Mycroft. Obviously he is surprised to hear from Sherlock as he hadn’t responded to any calls yesterday but he does have a case for Sherlock.

Finally Sherlock has something to occupy his time with, however tedious and unfortunately misses a call from John later that afternoon.

The case isn’t as fun without John and Sherlock solves it very perfunctory and without flare. That was usually for Johns benefit. He liked the attention John gave him and when he called Sherlock brilliant or amazing, it made him feel like John really loved being there with him and didn’t regret any decisions he made in the past.

They were finally back together again after so long apart, first from The Fall, then when he got back John got engaged to Mary and then they were suddenly having a baby, then after everything with the baby they tried marriage counseling but when Sherlock discovered Mary was being a assassin for hire again it was like Christmas had come and John would finally be returned to him.

But now John had left him again, maybe for the last time and Sherlock really regretted not say goodbye to him this time.

When he returned to the flat mid morning after his case for Mycroft, which had taken nearly twenty four hours, Sherlock was about to go to bed but heard his laptop chime.

He must have left on on before the case and someone was trying to Skype him. Sherlock was curious and pressed answer and Johns face appeared.

Automatically his face grew into a massive smile.

“John”

  
“Hey Sherlock, you finally answered, I know you must still be mad but I’m glad to see you”

Sherlock was only barely listening to him. He was relieved to finally see John again.

It suddenly hit him how much he had missed John in just over fourty eight hours.

John kept talking but Sherlock was just taking in Johns face like he hadn’t seen it in years, making sure it was commited to memory.

When his eyes trailed to his hairline there was a dark red patch and Sherlock immediately knew it was blood and almost began to panic, then he remember John was a doctor and it probably wasn’t his.

But it didn’t hurt to ask.

“John” he said interrupting him talk about Syria, Sherlock was only vaguely listening.

“That’s not your blood is it?” He asked.

John must have not realised there was anything on him and peered closer to see himself in the screen and wiped his fingers across the patch.

“No not mine Sherlock, it’s dried, was about to finally have a shower but decided to call you, didn’t think you’d answer. We had a busy night last night with some casualties and ‘bout an hour ago finished checking on patients and grabbed some breakfast.”

He was off talking about the injuries he’d treated when Sherlock noticed his dog tags. They were new. That meant John might have left his old ones behind.

They talked for a while longer but John said he had time restrictions and would call him again a couple of days.

They said their goodbyes and John said “I’m miss you” softly, barely loud enough for Sherlock to hear and hung up.

“I miss you too John” Sherlock said to a blank screen.

He calculated in his head that John was only on a temporary tour, so that meant he would only be gone twelve months maximum and might get leave for Christmas.

Sherlock finally got up from the couch and showered, put a pot of tea on and reheated some lunch Mrs Hudson has put in the refrigerator.

Sherlock had successfully distracted himself for an hour before he gave in and practically ran up the stairs to John’s room.

It was just as it was every time John wasn’t living there.

Clean, neat and tidy.

But on Johns bedside rested his old dog tags. Sherlock sat on John’s bed and debated with himself.

After several minutes he gave in, grabbing the dog tags and putting the chain around his neck, tucking them into his shirt.

He just needed something of John. Seeing him again today made Sherlock realise how long the next three hundred and sixty three days would be until John returned to him.

Sherlock missed John already.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This Sherlock chapter took me ages to write idk why.  
> Also I hope everyone had a great Christmas and Happy New Year. :)
> 
> (I am going away somewhere without reception for 10-12 days so no update until I get back will keep writing while away if possible)


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m soooo sorry this took so long to put up. It’s still not great writing but thanks for reading. :)

Bored.  
Sherlock’s always bored now. He’s even started taking cases below a seven and cases from Mycroft.

Sherlock has been miserable since John’s been gone. Except when John calls or sends letters. Sherlock keeps them and re-reads when he misses John. Which is a lot now apparently. What makes Sherlock even more miserable is the fact that John seems happier and more confident every time he calls.

Sherlock likes John being confident again. He finds it, entertaining, to watch John be assertive and be Captain Watson sometimes.

Sherlock’s about to make himself some tea when his laptop rings. It must be John. He’ll be calling to let Sherlock know if he’ll be home for Christmas.

“Hey Sherlock” John sounds tired and defeated. Sherlock knows why.

“Hello John. I assume you will not be coming home for Christmas.”

“I’m sorry Sherlock. I wish I was but they have to give leave to the men with families first. I understand that and maybe they’ll let me come home in time for your birthday”

“Can’t you just tell them you have a fiancé or an illegitimate child you need to see. Surely they’ll let you come home”

“Sherlock I’m not going to lie to them. And it also takes two weeks to get leave accepted so it’s not going to happen this time. I’m sorry.”

“John you’ve been gone for ten months and you havn’t had any leave to see your family. I don’t want to but I’m sure if I spoke to Mycroft he could call a few people. He’s friends with a Major or someone else of importance I’m sure.”  
John interrupts him.

“Sherlock I miss you too. But I’m not coming home this Christmas. I’ve sent a letter home for everyone and a couple presents. And we can skype on the day so it’ll be like I’m there”

“It won’t be the same John. You know how much I detest Christmas. This just gives me another reason.”

They speak for a little longer but John has to go again and he tells Sherlock he’ll see him soon. Sherlock knows he’s just trying to reassure him.

Sherlock’s bored again. So he decides to go see Mycroft for cases. And if he happens to ask him to do something about John’s leave then that’s purely coincidental.

Sherlock arrives at Mycroft’s office and his secretary Andrea?, irrelevant, tells him to wait as Mycroft’s busy. Apparently it’s not a business meeting or she would have said. It can’t be a friend because Mycroft doesn’t have any. And Sherlock doesn’t want to think about Mycroft and any romantic interests so he trys to narrow it down.

Not coming up with a reasonable guess as to who it is, he assumes he’s just on the phone. Probably their mother or someone else just as boring.

Imagine his surprise when DI. Lestrade walks out of Mycroft’s office.

He seems surprised to see Sherlock. Almost a deer in the headlights look on his face. Mycroft, standing behind him however, looks as collected as always.   
He clears his throat.

“Detective inspector, thank you for joining me for tea. I’ll keep you posted about the developments with your application. We should do this again sometime”

He extends his hand to Lestrade, who shakes it and says, “No worries Mycroft I’ll see you at the yard’s Christmas party then”

Lestrade is apparently not aware of Mycroft’s need of formality in front of his brother.

They watch Lestrade retreat to the lift and disappear behind the doors.

“You like him”

“Shut up Sherlock.”

Sherlock pushes his way into Mycroft’s office.

“Mycroft you know how I detest your job and you, mostly. I hate to ask, really detest this, but could you look into John’s leave application. It’s been denied and he’s not coming home for Christmas.”

For a split second Mycroft’s face looks confused?, Sherlock’s never seen the look on his brother’s face before. Just as soon as it was there, it’s gone again.

Mycroft shuffles some papers on his desk and fails to not look annoyed.

“Yes okay Sherlock. I’m sure I can look into it. But as repayment,”

Sherlock interrupts him. “Of course you need repayment. Can’t you just do something nice for your brother for once in your life. Of course not. Fine, what is it that you want from me. Go see mother on her birthday. Ring her once a month.”

“No Sherlock. Just take this case for me. It’ll keep you occupied until I have news about John.”

He hands Sherlock a folder. Sherlock browses through it, could be interesting. Maybe.

“You really need to tell him you know”

Sherlock looks up from the folder.   
“Tell who what?”

Mycroft looks sympathetic, Sherlock’s never seen that look on his face before either.

“Tell John how you feel. He’ll be home for good in two months and then what? You can’t pine after him forever”

Sherlock’s annoyed.

“You can talk. How long have you been oggling Gavin? I doubt your ‘tea’ was purely for him to report back to you about me. Yes I know about your monthly meeting’s. It’s just an excuse so you can see him.”

Mycroft sighs. “He’s barely been divorced eighteen months Sherlock. And the fact he was married to a women severely lowers my chance with him. He’s probably not gay or even bisexual so I have no reason to act upon anything.”

That’s probably the most Mycroft has said about relationships ever.

“And you think my relationship with John is any different. I mean yes, technically his wife was a murdering psychopath but still it’s only been barely eighteen months either.” Sherlock sighs. “We’ve had years Mycroft. Even before Mary. He just doesn’t feel anything for me. And as you always say, ‘Caring is not an advantage’”

“I regret saying that to you Sherlock. You would be less bitter and open to the fact that no matter what, John loves you. Even if it’s not the way you want him to. He’ll always be in your life and other than going off to war, he’ll never leave you again. I doubt he’ll ever get married again or have children. He’s got you Sherlock. That’s all he need’s.”

Sherlock’s never spoken about this to anyone before. Never mind that it’s with Mycroft.

“Yes he will Mycroft. He’ll meet some nice properly boring woman. A plain Jane and they’ll have a hoard of kids in the country side. John’ll work at the local practice and Jane will be a full time mother and a part time teacher and they’ll grow old together and I’ll never see him again.”

“God Sherlock, you’re making me depressed listening to this boring life you have planned for John. I’m sure if you told him that, he would tell you he’d rather have his life of excitement with you over anything else in the world.”

Sherlock’s about to reply when Anthea interrupts over the intercom.

“Sorry Mr Holmes, but your 10:00 is here.”

“You need to go now Sherlock. I’ll find out what I can about John and get back to you. Goodbye.”

He holds the door open for Sherlock. Sherlock’s still confused as to why he and his brother where talking so openly. That hasn’t happened since they were teenagers.

Sherlock goes back to Baker Street and looks over the case. It’s pretty easy and he’ll have it solved by the morning. He only ends up spending 18 hours on it and messaged Mycroft. He gets told that he has no news about John and Mycroft thanks him for working the case.

Sherlock’s bored again and as it’s Christmas Eve morning now he decides to just sleep until the yard’s Christmas party tonight. He’s decided to go out of pure boredom.

Sherlock sleeps until early afternoon when he gets a call from Lestrade. Finally a good murder to keep him busy.

He arrives at the crime scene and finds Lestrade.

“Gavin, you called about a murder. Point me in the direction of the body”

“Okay Sherlock. No need to look so happy. Someone has just died”

Sherlock follows Lestrade to the body and begins his assessment. He takes his time to figure out cause of death. Strangulation. He’s actually not sure why Lestrade has called him in. This isn’t a murder at all.

Sherlock calls over his shoulder.   
“Gavin, why have you called me. This is so easy that Sally could solve it herself”

“Thanks Sherlock, appreciated” Sally says from the corner. She doesn’t look angry at him at all. She’s smiling at him. Sherlock ignore this.

“Actually this is so easy that John could probably solve it, without help from me”

Somewhere behind him a voice says,  
“I’m glad you have such confidence in me Sherlock. I mean, I have been around you long enough to pick a few things up”

John. It’s John. Sherlock can’t believe it. He freezes for a second. He could be hearing things. Johns in Syria. Sherlock half stands half turns around and does some sort of weird spin and nearly unbalances himself. But strong arms are there to steady him and he looks at the person in front of him. It’s John.

“You said you didn’t get leave. You said you weren’t coming home”

“It was a surprise Sherlock. I applied for leave a week after I left so I could come home for Christmas. I may have lied a bit on the application but Mycroft made sure they didn’t look into it too much”

Sherlock’s still shocked that he doesn’t notice John hasn’t let go.

“So you’re back for how long John?”

“‘Till a day or two after your birthday. They gave me two weeks”

Sherlock’s very happy. He flings himself onto John who barely catches him in a hug.

John whispers in his ear.   
“I’ve missed you too Sherlock. Let’s go home”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait. It is unedited. Enjoy. ;)

Sherlock doesn’t complain when John steers him toward’s a town car waiting for them on the road. He doesn’t comment on Mycroft’s obvious involvement. And he doesn’t let go of John’s hand until he has to open the car door.

He slides in towards the middle of the seat and goes no further, leaving enough room for John on his right side. Sherlock is quite enjoying having John by his side again and has missed his warmth. John doesn’t even have to tell the driver the address or anything and they begin the drive through the street’s towards home.

Sherlock has decided to take Mycroft’s advice. John’s finally back, but not for long and Sherlock can’t bare the though of going any length of time without him again. Sherlock makes up his mind to try to gage John’s feelings towards him that may be non-platonic. He slowly rests his head on John’s shoulder. With some difficulty due to John being a bit smaller than him but finally finds a comfortable spot. John doesn’t move or ask him to move so Sherlock takes that as a positive sign.

When they get back to the flat Sherlock lets John unlock the door and follows him in.

“I’m glad you’re back John.”

“I’m glad as well Sherlock.”

They smile at each other and Sherlock’s stomach is unsettled and it feels like the thing people call ‘butterflies’ and he doesn’t ever want to break eye contact with John.

“Yoo hoo.” Mrs Hudson Call’s, interrupting them as she clambers up the stairs.

“Oh John I’m so glad to see you again. I’ve been worried sick about you over there. Sherlock has been absolutely miserable these past few months without you.”

  
She hugs him tightly and John hugs her back.

“I’ll make you both some tea. But don’t eat much this afternoon. The Detective Inspector said there’s going to be a lot of food at the Yard’s Christmas party tonight.”

They follow her into the flat and John tries to help her but she shoo’s him away. He takes a seat in his chair across from Sherlock and smiles at him. Sherlock returns the smile and they just sit there like that for ages.

Mrs Hudson brings the tea over for them and fusses over John. She soon retreats to her own flat and leaves them alone. It feels like hours before someone says something but it’s probably merely minutes.

John clears his throat and breaks their eye contact first.

“Sherlock. Should we start getting ready for the Christmas party yet?”

Sherlock looks disappointed but agrees.

The door bell rings as they both go to get up. Sherlock goes to the window to see who it is but all he see’s is one of Mycroft’s black cars. Its not the same one they used earlier.

John’s placing their cup’s in the sink when Anthea arrives at the flat door holding a parcel.

“Captain.” Is all she says as she hands it over and nods, retreating back down the stairs.

It looks to Sherlock like a garment box and has no idea what else it could be.

“It’s not ticking so it’s not a bomb.”

“Of course it’s not a bomb Sherlock. I know you and your brother don’t get on but he’s unlikely to blow up the flat.”

Sherlock looks sceptical, like he doesn’t believe John.

John sighs, “It’ll be my service dress uniform. Trust Mycroft to deliver it in time for the party. I was hoping to avoid wearing one again.”

“Well, the invitation did say formal dress. And I know you don’t have anything suitable to wear to a formal occasion that will make you look as distinguished as you are.”

John looks a bit shocked.

“What? Technically you’re a Captain in the British Army, so you need to dress like one. Even Lestrade will be in his policeman getup. The Superintendent and Chief Superintendent will be there and there’s a rumour that the Chief is thinking about retiring. So there will be a DCI spot available from next year. I’m pretty sure, thanks to my help of course, that Lestrade will be the prime candidate for the position.”

“You’ve been listening to the Yard’s gossip mill while I’ve been gone? God you must have been so bored.”

“You have no idea John.”

John places the box on the coffee table in the living room.

“Doesn’t start till 8. We’ve got a few hours. Want to watch crap telly for a while?”

Sherlock grins, bounces over to the couch and lounges over it. John grabs the remote, lifts Sherlock’s legs up to sit down and set’s them back down on his lap. He flicks on a crap detective drama just to wind Sherlock up.

“John.” No answer. “John turn this crap off immediately. You know how their incompetence infuriates me. They’re nearly as bad as Anderson.” Sherlock whines.

John just laughs and Sherlock moves to grab the remote. John just moves it over the arm of the couch out of Sherlock’s reach. That makes Sherlock more annoyed.

“John, stop being silly.”

“You said you’d watch crap telly with me. And you just said that’s what it is.”

“Shut up John. Turn it over.”

Sherlock has moved and managed to half cover John’s body as he reaches for the remote. John just keeps laughing as Sherlock struggles and Sherlock begins to laugh as well despite himself, losing his balance.

They end up in a fit of giggles with Sherlock’s head on the arm of the couch and him practically sitting in John’s lap. John doesn’t seem to mind, so Sherlock adds that to his mind palace for further thought.

Right now though, he is startled by John’s hand in his hair. He looks up directly into John’s eyes and he smiles.

“God I’ve missed this Sherlock.”

“John” he starts. The sound of Mrs Hudson hauling something up the stairs makes them both turn their heads. John’s hand is out of his hair and he clear’s his throat.

Sherlock is surprised that John has not gone to chivalrously carry the box for Mrs Hudson.

John clears his throat again and says, “Sherlock. Could you move?”

Sherlock realises that John has not moved to help Mrs Hudson carry the box because he is still in his lap. Sherlock darts up and to the other end of the couch and John stand, moving to help Mrs Hudson.

It’s just a box of Christmas decorations and Sherlock just slumps further into the couch. He pretends to be sleeping but watches John from the corner of his eye. He begins to evaluate the data he has collected over the past couple of hours.

John didn’t sever their contact from the hug earlier and didn’t pull away from him when they were holding hands. He didn’t even twitch when Sherlock rested his head on his shoulder in the cab and just now in the couch John didn’t seem uncomfortable. It could be indicative of a fond friendship where there is no more personal space boundaries or it could mean that John likes being close to him.

Need more data.

Mrs Hudson finishes some decorating with John and tells them to hurry and get ready for the party. Sherlock goes to hop into the shower and notices that he forgot to take off John’s dog tags. He had little time alone since John arrived and forgot about them completely. He goes to take them off but realises he can use them to help test John. If John’s angry at him for taking them then he obviously has overstepped the friendship boundaries and if he doesn’t get angry, John might like the fact that’s he’s got them.

Sherlock showers and dresses in his best suit, dark navy, and tucks the dog tags under his shirt as he buttons it up.  
He’s fully dressed and waits for John in his chair. He doesn’t have to wait long because he hears John’s footsteps down the stairs.

John comes into the room and Sherlock just stares. John’s got his belt over his shoulder, jacket not fully done up and beret under his arm but Sherlock is captivated.

John looks breathtaking. Freshly shaven and hair neatly styled, his garb tailored perfectly to the John he is today not the John that left ten months ago. Bloody Mycroft did this on purpose. Sherlock properly takes in John’s form. His arms and shoulders have defined again, back to before Mary, and has lost his little beer belly he had started to grow.

John’s gorgeous and Sherlock feels his heart beat faster and has that weird feeling in his stomach again from earlier.

During his staring, John has finished buttoning his jacket, clipped his belt into place and put his beret on.

Sherlock, finally being able to regain his composure and mobility, stands and approaches John. Sherlock apparently has a military kink. Something new to think about later but for right now he needs to concentrate.

John turns towards him and takes in what Sherlock is wearing. John’s eyes trail over his body and takes in every inch.

Sherlock suddenly feels the need to loosen his collar, despite the fact the temperature hasn’t changed at all, and feels the ‘butterflies’ again, this time lower.

He decides to just go for it. See how John reacts.

“You look breathtaking John.”

John looks a bit shocked but grins at Sherlock when he realises he means it.

“Thank you Sherlock. You look gorgeous yourself. As always.”

Sherlock flushes a bit at that but smiles back at John. They’re interrupted by Mrs Hudson who squeals in delight and says they both look fantastic and insists on a picture.

John shows her how to use his phone to take a photo and she starts practicing while the boys move to the fireplace. Sherlock pretends to be annoyed but stands still for Mrs Hudson and when John places his hand on Sherlock’s lower back, Sherlock doesn’t move a muscle.

After about fifty photos, Mrs Hudson still hasn’t figured it out, they get ushered out and down the stairs. They grab their coats on the way out and hop into the car that Mycroft has sent. Sherlock will speak to his brother later. He’s had enough of his meddling.

  
••••••••••••••••••••••••••

The ride is quick and silent and although Sherlock does see John looking at him in the reflection of the glass he doesn’t say anything. Sherlock realises that neither of them gave the driver an address when they got into the car and he pulls up next to a large building with people talking and smoking out the front.

Apparently the Yards function rooms aren’t big enough for this event and they have rented out a ballroom a few streets over.

They leave the car and Sherlock spots Sally immediately and John makes his way over to her, Sherlock hesitant to follow.

“Evening boys. You both clean up alright.”

She stamps out her smoke with her heel. She herself is dressed in her police service uniform and looks nice.

“Cheers Sally, you look look nice as well.”  
John, always the gentleman.

“Glad to be on leave John?”

“Yeh definitely. Missed everything far too much. This one included.”

He nods his head in Sherlock’s direction. They smile at each other.

Sally makes a gagging sound. Sherlock turns.

“Practicing for the new secretary Donovan?”

Sally’s faces goes red.

“Fuck off Sherlock. I saw you check him out as well. He’s not into blokes though, so you’d better stick with John.”

John just looks confused but tells them to not behave like children for one evening.

Sherlock looks bored again so they decide to go find Greg.

“He’s not here yet.” Sally yells to them as they walk away. “Some problem with his dry cleaning, he’ll be here later.”

They enter the main ballroom after handing over their jackets at coat check and the place is covered in Christmas decorations, mistletoe and tinsel all over the place. There is Met police officers everywhere but some have brought their significant others so it’s not just a sea of uniforms.

They grab a drink each and they do a circle of the room speaking to a few Sergeants and Detectives they recognise.

They keep far away from Anderson and his wife. Sherlock wouldn’t be able to help himself. Even with John telling him not too.

Molly spots them before they spot Molly. She pushes her way through the crowd towards them, pulling her boyfriend behind her. She gives John a massive hug hello.

“John, I’m so glad you’re back. I nearly ran out of cadavers for Sherlock to experiment on. And you can finally meet Simon. I’ve told him all about you. He can’t believe someone can put up with Sherlock everyday and not get sick of him.”

Simon, who did shake hands with both John and Sherlock, now looks a bit guilty.  
He’s wearing a Met uniform as well but it appears he’s just a constable. He’s average height, about the same as John and has ginger hair. Not even remotely resembling Sherlock like Tom did. Sherlock likes this Simon. He seems a good influence on Molly, having met him a few months ago when he kept Molly back late in the lab and Simon came to check up on her.

John just laughs.  
“Well, he is a bit difficult to deal with sometimes but I wouldn’t live without him. He definitely keeps life interesting.”

“Oh there’s Sally. I need to speak to her about girls night next week. Good to see you guys. Have a good night.”  
Molly all but drags Simon along with her.

“He seems alright.”

  
“Yes John. He is quite good for Molly.”

  
“Careful Sherlock, that almost sounded like a genuine compliment.”

  
“Shut up John.”

  
John laughs.

“That’s more like Sherlock I know.”

They both find another drink and some food to eat.The champagne they are handing around is actually very nice.  
Sherlock is just about to ask John if he’s spending Christmas Day with his family, when Lestrade walks in.

Lestrade does a quick scan of the room and nods towards them but heads over to his superintendent. Eventually he excuses himself and makes his way over, grabbing himself a drink on the way.

“Evening you two.”

They exchange pleasantries and Lestrade says he almost didn’t make it in. He spent twenty minutes arguing with his dry cleaner.

“I’m about ninety eight percent sure that this isn’t my old suit. I know because there’s a small tear, or was a small tear, on the inside of the sleeve and now it’s magically gone and it fits better than it ever has.”

“Ah, you’ve been Mycroft’d as well then.”

“Mycroft? What’s Mycroft got to do with my service gear?”

Sherlock interrupts them.

“I assume you mentioned your application for Detective Chief Inspector to my brother, correct?”

  
Greg nods.

  
“Then it’s safe to assume that he’s responsible for your new service suit as he is John’s.”

He gestures to John’s Military attire.

  
“He clearly wants you to make a good impression as tonight will basically be an informal interview.”

“Shit. I’ve just had a quick chat to the Superintendent and buggered off to see you two. No wonder he looked pissed off when I left. Fuck. There goes the job then I suppose.”

  
Lestrade grabs another drink from a passing waiter. Sherlock sees a figure enter the ballroom.

  
“I wouldn’t say that necessarily. My brother has just arrived.”

“Mycroft’s here? Why?” Lestrade looks confused and slightly nervous suddenly.

“Due to his role in the government. He attends all of these dull affairs. I’m surprised you’ve never seen him. He’s always at Met events. He will more than likely introduce you to the Chief Superintendent, they’re good friends.”

Both Lestrade and John look at Sherlock with surprise. They are even more surprised when Mycroft begins to make his way over.

“Detective Inspector, Captain Watson.”  
He greets them formally.

“Sherlock.”

“Brother.”

“Detective, it’s good to see you again. Would you like to accompany me over to the Chief Superintendent so you can put your first foot forward, so to speak, with your application?”

“Umm, ye-yeh that would be great Mycroft, thanks.”

“Oh Mycroft, before I forget.” John stops him before they turn away.

“Yes Doctor?”

“Thanks for the supply’s. Over there I mean. They came in very handy. We all appreciated it.”

“I’m not sure what you’re talking about Doctor Watson. There was merely a government surplus in the military sector that were used for new supplies. The fact they were sent to your base John, is simply coincidence.”

“Yes I’m sure it was Mycroft. Thanks anyway.”

“You’re quite welcome John.”

  
He motions to Lestrade,  
“Shall we, Detective Inspector.”

They walk over and Mycroft introduces Lestrade to the Chief.

Sherlock turns to John.

“What extra supplies John? You never mentioned any.”

“Well you are a genius Sherlock. I thought even you could deduce why the signal stopped cutting out after the second week and the screen quality improved. I did also mentioned the new gear and the update in the rec room, pool table included. But I suppose that’s all too pedestrian for you to notice Sherlock.”

“I’m sorry John. I must have been too focused on you to notice.”

John gives him a strange look, but smiles.  
  
They do another lap of the ballroom with another drink each. They’re both incredibly bored.

“Sherlock. You wanna get out of here and go home.”

“Definitely John. I’ve been bored since we arrived.”

They both wave to Greg and acknowledge Mycroft on the way out, grabbing their coats.

The cab ride home is quick and silent. When the arrive home they climb the stairs quickly, not to wake Mrs Hudson.

John, after removing his coat, moves to the kitchen to make tea.

Mrs Hudson has finished decorating and left the fire lit and some Christmas pudding in the fridge.

Sherlock comes to stand by the kitchen door but freezes when he see what hangs above his head.

“Tea Sherlock?”

John turns when he doesn’t get a reply. He must think Sherlock’s in his mind palace as he walks over, Sherlock’s completely frozen in place as he contemplates the situation.

John is standing directly in front of him now.

  
“Sherlock. Sherlock, do you want tea?”

No response. John is beginning to look worried. Sherlock just looks above them, hoping John gets his hint. John does look. And he freezes also.

Above Sherlock, in their kitchen doorway, is mistletoe. Damn Mrs Hudson’s meddling ways.

John clears his throat and looks at Sherlock. Sherlock just stares back.

“So um, we don’t have to if you don’t want to. It’s just a stupid tradition. Mrs Hudson will never know if we don’t.”

John’s voice sounds a bit apprehensive,  
very unsure about how this will play out.

“It’s tradition John. Even if Mrs Hudson doesn’t know, we certainly will. We don’t won’t a curse or anything from an old wives tale hanging over our heads, pardon the pun.”

John clears his throat again, and licks his lips. Sherlock’s eyes are immediately draw to them.

“Um right. Let’s get this over with.”

John’s clearly very nervous.  
Sherlock just stares at John’s lips and waits.

After about twenty seconds of nothing John speaks up.

“Sherlock, I’ll need your assistance. You being half a head taller than me, I need to you lean down.”

Sherlock is too distracted watching John’s lips move in anticipation to really understand what he says.

“Oh bugger this.”

  
John grab’s the back of Sherlock’s neck with his hand and pulls him down.

Sherlock takes a few seconds to realise John’s lips are actually on his. His hands move to John’s waist, John’s left still holding the nape of his neck and the other resting on his shoulder.

Sherlock can’t believe it. John’s lips are actually on his. Warm and smooth against his own. Just as he feels John about to pull away he adds more pressure. Moving his hands to the small of John’s back he pull him closer. Their bodies almost flush against each other now.

In response to Sherlock, John tilts his head, changing the angle to deepen the kiss. His hand on Sherlock shoulder slides up and into his hair. Sherlock’s own hands moving further south, towards the base of John’s spine.

John’s tongue is suddenly at his lips, demanding entrance. Which Sherlock relents to. They cling to each other as the kiss deepens even further. The feeling of John’s tongue against his own draws a moan from Sherlock’s throat.

This sudden sound is enough for John to realise what he’s doing and break away from Sherlock.

They both release the hold on each other immediately, almost like they’ve been burned. John steps back, away from the pull of Sherlock’s body, like he doesn’t trust himself to be near him.

John’s eyes are wide as if he can’t believe what they’ve just done but their breathlessness is evidence. John blinks once, twice, three times before he looks away from Sherlock. A blush rising on his cheeks and he clears his throat managing to regain composure.

“Right. That’s tradition over with then. Goodnight Sherlock.”

  
And he’s retreating suddenly out of the room. Sherlock can hear his footsteps on the stairs before he can understand what’s just happened.

The kettle whistles to signal that the water has boiled. That snaps Sherlock out of his daze. He turns the kettle off and retreats to his own room.

Lying on his bed he stares at the ceiling. To were John must lay in his own bed above. He brings his fingertips to his lips and he doesn’t quite believe what has happened.

That’s definitely not how he imagined this evening ending.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally! Sorry if it felt rushed but I made you wait long enough. ;)
> 
> :Plz let me know if you like the OG characters and if they fit. Thanks :)


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not edited and a filler chapter.  
> More fun in the next one.  
> How was Sherlock’s flirting?

  
Sherlock didn’t sleep a lot that night. He kept thinking about how it felt to have John’s lips on his own. About how much he wanted that again.

He did, however, stay in his bedroom until as late as possible. Hoping not to run into John just yet. He hadn’t finished processing and couldn’t imagine how John would be feeling.

It was just after nine and Sherlock couldn’t hold off any longer. He needed tea.

After using the bathroom and putting on a dressing gown, he made his way into the sitting room.

The fire was lit and there was some presents around the small tree Mrs Hudson had put up. Sherlock had almost forgot it was Christmas morning.

He walked into the kitchen and turned the kettle on and made himself tea. He returned to the living room and sat in his chair.

He could faintly hear movement from upstairs. John must be awake and still here. Sherlock was going to ask him last night where he was spending Christmas this year, but the night sort of got away from them.

Last Christmas was not great. John had only been home barely six months and he refused to come with Sherlock to his parents. He claimed his bad mood and the previous years events would prevent him from being a hospitable guest.

So John went and saw Harry and her new girlfriend for a quick breakfast and spent most of the day at the pub with Lestrade. Both of them wallowing in the misery or their failed marriages and subsequent divorces.

Sherlock parents were spending Christmas in their Tuscan holiday house and allowed Sherlock the year off attending Christmas with them. Twice in a row was a record. And Mycroft, well, Sherlock didn’t really know. He didn’t particular want to spend a third Christmas with his brother despite the, understanding, between them lately.

Sherlock is too busy in his mind palace to hear John emerge from his bedroom and go into the kitchen.

“Morning Sherlock.”  
He mumbles a greeting back.

John makes himself so tea and some breakfast and reads the paper at the kitchen table. Sherlock needs to think of something interesting because his mind is wandering to last night.

“John.” Sherlock says suddenly.

“Yes Sherlock.”

“Should we talk about last night?.”

Sherlock hears the clatter of John dropping his plate in the sink very loudly.

“Um, why Sherlock?”

John makes his way out of the kitchen. He looks a bit nervous and embarrassed.  
Sherlock notices that the mistletoe above the door is now gone.

Maybe now isn’t a good time to talk about it. Clearly John is uncomfortable talking about this. Maybe he miscalculated Johns feelings. Maybe today is not a good day to talk about it. Change the subject then.

“Because my brother is infatuated”

John chokes on air. He clears his throat.  
“I’m sorry? What’s your brother got to do with last night?”

“Last night, at the Met Christmas party. Clearly he’s infatuated with Lestrade but won’t do anything about it. With Lestrade not being interested, him being ‘not gay’ and everything”  
That was a cheap shot on Sherlocks part, John might not want to talk about last night but Sherlock is going to make him think about.

Johns face shows that he has “registered” the phrase from when he said it the first night. He looks confused.

“Your brother?”  
“Yes.”  
“Mycroft Holmes?”  
“Yes.”  
“Mycroft likes Greg?”  
“Who?”  
“Oh for fuck sake Sherlock. Lestrade?”  
“Oh yes, Gavin.”  
“Yeh Gavin sure.” John sighs. “Just to be clear. Your brother Mycroft Holmes, likes Greg Lestrade?”  
“Er yes. I thought I’d made that clear by now.”  
“Shit.”  
“Quite.”

John moves to sit on his chair facing Sherlock. He looks like he’s thinking.

“I thought you were just being a prick last time you said anything about them.”

The last time being the night before John left for duty.

“No. Not actually being a prick. Just observant.”  
“That too.”  
“John!”

John chuckles and smiles at him.  
“So your brothers gay? Knight said he was asexual. That explains absolutely nothing.”

“No he’s not gay. He is asexual, this ‘Knight’ person is correct.”

“But he likes Greg. Greg’s a man. Therefore, gay.”

“Just because my brother has romantic feelings for another man doesn’t mean he’s gay.”

“That’s exactly what it means.”

“Oh John. Sometimes I envy how simply you view the world.”

“Shut up Sherlock.”  
John’s smiling, not actually annoyed.

“Asexual people don’t have any sexual feelings or desires. That means they’re not attracted to anyone. But sometimes they have an exception to the rule. Lestrade is apparently my brothers exception.”

John looks like he’s absorbing all this information. Good. Maybe he’ll take a little of this information on board. And the ‘not gay’ train will leave the station, so to speak.

“Do you research all of this stuff Sherlock? How do you know about it?”

“Well, when I was younger I overheard Mycroft tell Mummy and Father that he was asexual and so I did my own research. I also decided that for the purposes of my career that I would also become asexual.”

John looks slightly shocked.  
They’ve never talked about any of this before but perhaps with last night, Sherlock should make his feelings know.

John looks like he’s absorbed this information as well and smiles.

“That’s great Sherlock. It’s good that you can focus on your work instead of sex. Sometimes it’s distracting.”

Sherlock grins, “Yes John it is. Usually I don’t have a problem focusing on my work but lately I have become quite distracted actually.”

John looks a bit shocked and turns a bit pink, then he seems to remember something and his express turns guarded.

“That new bloke at the yard then? The one Sally mentioned?” His tone of voice sounds a bit jealous. Sherlock’s not sure if he like it or not.

“One can appreciate beauty without finding themselves sexual aroused. Just because I may find him attractive does not mean I want to have sex with him.”

“Ah I get it. Like art. You can see the beauty in A Starry Night but you don’t want to shag it.”

“Precisely John. Like art. My predicament however, is not at all like that. I do certainly appreciate its beauty.”

“Right, that’s great then. Shall we open presents.”

John sudden change in topic means he must be overwhelmed or he feels awkward talking about Sherlock’s sex life. Or lack thereof currently. John can fix that right now if he wants but Sherlock will give him time. He lets John steer the conversation to a safer topic.

John walks over to the Christmas tree and hands a present to Sherlock and grabs one for himself.

“That’s from me Sherlock. It’s not much ‘cause I didn’t really know what to get you.”

“Any gift from you John, is appreciated.”  
They begin unwrapping.

Sherlock has already deduced the present John has got him from his glance at the tree earlier but by is pleasantly surprised at the quality.

“It’s lovely John. I shall hang it on the wall.”

He holds up the antique violin bow and inspects it. It’s in very good condition. He wonders where John got it from.

“I think that’s a great idea. Just not the wall you shoot Sherlock.”

“Of course not John. It’s from you and I would never put it in harms way.”  
Sherlock looks over at John and he’s watching him. He smiles at John and it is returned. “Now, open yours.”

John had begun to unwrap but had stopped to watch Sherlock. He slowly unwraps the tiny parcel. Sherlock thinks John had expected another jumper for Christmas again. Sherlock decided to go with something different, more meaningful.

John is peering at the small silver tag and tries to read the inscription.

“Sherlock what does it say, it’s not English.”

“It’s Serbian John. ‘Nas dvojica protiv sveta.’ It means, ‘the two of us against the world’. It’s what kept me going while I was away. Maybe it will do the same for you.”

Sherlock watches Johns reaction. And John looks upset. Sherlock’s not sure what’s wrong.  
“I’m sorry John. Do you not like it? It’s stupid isn’t it. I’ll just get you a jumper.”

Sherlock reaches over to Johns chair to take it from him but John moves it out his way. He looks at Sherlock intensely.

“Sherlock. It’s perfect. I love it.

Sherlock just stares back at John, feeling his heart beat faster. John reaches into his shirt and pulls out his dog tags. He adds the present from Sherlock and it doesn’t look out of place at all. He puts them back on and tucks it into his shirt.

“There, now I won’t lose it.” John smiles at him, “Now, who’s next? I got something for Mrs Hudson and everyone but I did forget your brother, I assume you got him something?”

“Yes John, I got my brother something and also sent something to my parents from the two of us.”

“That’s great, I did get them something but didn’t know the address for Tuscany so they’ll receive it when they get back.”

“That’s very nice of you John. Shall we take Mrs Hudson’s present to her downstairs with some tea. It is Christmas morning after all.”

Sherlock reaches for Mrs Hudson’s present under the tree and hears a soft clinking sound when he stands back up.  
He turns and see John looking at him.

“Sherlock. When did you start wearing a chain?” John sounds hesitant.

Sherlock reaches towards the dog tags that are no longer hidden under his shirt. Can’t hide them now. He’s surprised that it’s taken John this long to figure out his old ones are missing.

He swallows. The truth it is then.  
“It’s not a chain John. I may have taken your old dog tags from your dresser after you left. I missed you.”

John looks taken aback but his expression changes into something Sherlock’s not seen before. He smiles at Sherlock and walks over to him. Reaching up, he untucks it from Sherlock’s shirt and moves them between his fingers. Sherlock tried not to shiver from Johns touch at the the collar of his shirt. John sees that Sherlock has added the extra tag identical to the one he received earlier.

He grins up at Sherlock. Sherlock’s breath hitches as he realises how close John is standing. They just stare at each other until Sherlock feels a phantom of pressure on the chain pulling him down towards John. Sherlock knows what to do this time and begins to lean down, eyes flickering to Johns lips and back to his eyes as he’s drawn in.

“Woohoo boys.”  
Mrs Hudson’s call comes from the landing and John has enough time to tuck the dog tags back into Sherlock’s shirt and pat them before stepping away and around towards the door.

Sherlock needs a moment to gather himself before allowing Mrs Hudson to gather him in a hug.

“Merry Christmas boys. You’ll get your presents at lunch time. I’ll be going to my sisters this afternoon and won’t be back until after New Year’s Day. I’m sorry, you’ll have to look after each other. You will have the house to yourselves while Johns home, so be as loud as you want and make the most of it.”  
She winks at them both and potters into the kitchen.  
Sherlock blushes a little and John just clears his throat and sits back in his chair.

She comes back a few minutes later with tea for them both. Sherlock has picked up his violin and begun to play.

“You boys better start getting ready, we’re expected at your brothers at twelve o’clock. He’s sending a car around and it’ll be here in an hour.”  
  
Sherlock’s violin has come to a screeching halt and John grimaces.  
“What? Why are we going to my brothers for lunch? Why didn’t anyone tell me?”

“Because we knew you would react like this. Lunch at your brothers is final, or he’ll make the Detective Inspector stop using you for cases.”

Sherlock’s annoyed and he realises she said we. He looks at John. John is looking away very guilty. Good, he should be. Making him spend a third Christmas with his brother. Torture is what comes to mind. Nails on a chalkboard.

“Gavin needs my help too much, he would never listen to Mycroft.”

“You can talk to him about that at lunch. I’m off to get ready, I’ll see you boys down stairs.”  
Ah, Gavin will be there. Oh Sherlock can torture his brother. The tables have turned.

He thinks he will enjoy this Christmas lunch.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Un-edited sorry. :)

The car ride to Mycroft’s house was long and a bit boring to be honest. John kept glancing back over at Sherlock sitting across from him, thinking about the events of this morning. God if Mrs Hudson hadn’t interrupted them John wonders what would have happened.

He would have kissed sherlock. Again. After last night, that’s all he’s been able to think about. He still needs time to process but he’s pretty sure he’s sexually attracted to Sherlock. He knew he loved him but always thought it was a friendly and loyal type of love. After last night he’s sure that’s not all.

God Sherlock looked gorgeous at the party, like always, and was distracted by him all night. That’s probably why he didn’t notice anything going on with Mycroft and Lestrade. He’d have to have a chat to Greg about that, see how he feels about it. Mycroft’s helped him out a lot over the last couple of years with all the Mary stuff and when he went back to active duty, this would be the least he could do.

He tucks his thoughts away as they pull up in front of Mycroft’s house. Sherlock has called it a ‘modest estate’ in Surrey, but John would call it a mansion. The driver pulls up in front of the steps to the verandah and open the doors for them. John is surprised that Mycroft himself is greeting them at the front door and not a butler or something equally pretentious.

“Mrs Hudson, delighted you could make it, you brought your luggage? The driver will take you to your sisters whenever you’re ready.”

“Thank you very much Mycroft.” He smiles broadly and allows her to hug him. He ushers her inside and turns to his brother and John.

“Doctor, how is your leave treating you?”  
He smiles at John like he knows what’s happen. Knowing Mycroft, he probably has cameras in the flat.

“Great thanks Mycroft. Greg here yet? Mrs Hudson said you invited him.”

Mycroft’s expression, composed as ever, barely twitches when John mentions Greg’s name but John is tuned to the Holmes’ expressions, or lack thereof, and notices it. Sherlock, beside him, apparently sees it as well.

“First Christmas with your new boyfriend?” He teases.

Mycroft sneers at him, answering equally as snarky.  
“First Christmas not being the other women?”

Sherlock begins to say something but John cuts him off.

“It’s Christmas Day for fucks sake. Can you two please play nice for a few hours? Or do I have to call your mother?”

They both look at John like he wouldn’t dare. So he pulls his phone out and scrolls down to her number.

“Don’t make me do it.”

They both just look down toward the ground guiltily. Sherlock mutter something like ‘Sorry John’ and Mycroft nods to him and stands aside to let them in.

The inside of the house if far less extravagant and more so at the same time. It’s sparse but tasteful and incredibly functional, definitely suiting Mycroft to a tee.

“I shall give you a tour later John. Or Sherlock can if he wants. He’s spent quite a bit of time here after his first round of rehab.”  
  
John looks over at Sherlock but he just looks annoyed and mumbles something that sounds like ‘bored’. John won’t push for a tour but would like one, the house seems fantastic.

“The dinning room however, is this way and the other guest are waiting on the balcony.”

They follow Mycroft to the dinning room, which is apparently upstairs. It’s bigger than most but tasteful with a piano in one corner and record player in another, which is playing classical music softly. John notices Sherlock’s fingers have begun taping along to the beat on his thighs.

The long table is set for lunch and on the other side of the room is double doors that open to the terrace. The paintings and book shelves make the place look lived in but Sherlock tells him not to be fooled, this is the fourth time Mycroft has used this house, other than rehab for him, for social events despite having it for over ten years.

They walk out doors to the balcony and everyone is gathered around the bar chatting, but Molly spots them and come rushing over.

“Boys, you came! We weren’t sure you would but I’m so happy you’re here. You can get to know Simon a lot better John.”

She grins and releases them from a hug and drags them to the bar. Mrs Hudson has already made herself comfortable and was chatting away to Greg, who’s sat with a beer in his hand.

Mycroft excuses himself to check on lunch and Mrs Hudson follows to ‘supervise’. Molly and Sherlock are looking at cadavers on her phone and poor Simone looks very grave staring at the screen as they deduct time of death. John grabs a beer and heads over to Lestrade, they can sit through this craziness together, if he asks about Mycroft as well, that’s just two birds.

“Oi Oi John. How was you morning?”  
“Good Greg, yourself?”  
“Not too bad mate. This house is a bit fancy ain’t it? But I guess it goes with its owner.”  
“I don’t think I’ve heard Mycroft Holmes describes as fancy before. Sherlock tends to use the term ‘arrogant’ when describing his brother.”  
“Nah Mycroft’s not arrogant, bit pretentious or posh but he’s actually all right, despite what Sherlock says.”  
“Yeh I know, Sherlock tends to exaggerate things about his brother. He’s helped me out a lot over there and with my leave as well. He’s actually a good guy, but it’s quite sad really.”  
“Sad? Why?”  
“Oh you know, the job he has doesn’t leave a lot of time for relationships. He really needs a bloke that understands that.”  
John hears Greg choke on his beer a bit and smiles.

“Bloke? Mycroft’s gay? I thought Sherlock was just being a prick?”  
“Generally speaking, he is, but he has hinted at Mycroft leaning towards gentlemen as his preference.”  
“That’s certainly new information. I just thought that he didn’t do relationships at all or something was going on with that assistant of his.” Greg looks like he’s absorbing this information.  
“Yeh so did I but Sherlock assures me that’s not the case.”

  
John looks over at Sherlock who is animatedly demonstrating to Molly what it would look like as the killers knife enters her scared boyfriends chest. He smiles while looking at Sherlock, he truely did miss him.

“Speaking of Sherlock,” John can hear the grin in Greg’s voice. “You two got your shit together yet?”

John just sighs. No. No they haven’t. If anything it’s worse ‘cause he’s just confused now.

“Greg.” He says taking a sip of beer and looks over to him. “Me and Sherlock just aren’t going to happen. He doesn’t feel anything for me, he’s actually asexual apparently. We spoke about it this morning.”

Johns surprises himself that the first words out of his mouth aren’t ‘I’m not actually gay’ but realises that his feelings for Sherlock don’t have boundaries due to gender. Took him long enough.

He loves the other man. Plain and simple. He knows that now. If only Sherlock felt the same.

“Mate seriously. When you’re not looking at him, he’s looking at you. Always has. Like now. He’s talking to Molly but he’s watching you, soon he’ll make up an excuse to come over and talk to you. At lunch he’ll sit next to you or across from you. If Sherlock doesn’t have feelings for you then I’ll hand my badge in. I’m meant be a detective, and I detect, that Sherlock Holmes is in love with you.”

John’s a bit shocked at this confession from Greg. He didn’t know the other man paid that much attention to him and Sherlock.

“Now that’s over and done with, I need another beer. Or three. Whatever will get me through this day.”  
  
Greg walks over to the bar and grabs another beer each for them, leaving John to contemplate.

“John!”  
Sherlock calls from where he is with Molly.  
“You’re a doctor. Can you confirm this death was asphyxiation from rope, Molly doesn’t think so.”

John sees Greg grin from the corner of his eye and when he walks over to Sherlock and Molly he mutters ‘Git’ as he walks past. Lestrade just laughs.

Mycroft and Mrs Hudson emerge through the double doors to announce lunch is ready. John hands Molly her phone back and swallows the rest of his beer, taking the next from Greg when he hands it to him.  
This lunch should be fun.

•~~~~~~~~•

As Greg predicted, Sherlock is sat next to him, Greg himself sitting on John’s other side opposite Mrs Hudson. Molly is opposite Sherlock so they can exchange more photos of corpses over lunch and Simon between her and Mrs Hudson. Mycroft, naturally, is at the head of the table on Greg’s left.

John certainly didn’t miss the small blush on Mycroft’s cheeks when Greg ‘accidentally’ brushed his hand reaching for the gravy. Neither did Sherlock.

“Control yourself Mycroft. I’m sure even you can do that for the duration of lunch.”

“Why should I? You never do.”

They begin bickering and Mrs Hudson tries to stop them but it’s John who manages to quite them. He just places his phone on the table and that silenced them both immediately. The threat of calling their mother is enough. Also John’s hand on Sherlock’s knee under the table probably helps as well.

Other than that incident the lunch is pleasant and the food is great. Sherlock does ‘compliment’ his brother.

“I’m surprised you let your staff have the day off Mycroft, but I’m sure you have enough experience with food that you know what you’re doing.”

John wasn’t the only one at the table who noticed Mycroft was silent for the rest of the meal and excused himself afterwards.

They all moved back outside for another drink and John told Sherlock off for being a dick to his brother. Another ‘sorry John’ was muttered.

Mrs Hudson left first to go to her sisters and Molly and Simon left soon after.  
The others retired to Mycroft’s study and have a couple more drinks. Greg asks about the piano in Mycroft’s study and so he demonstrates. Greg was entrapped.

“Your technical skills need more practise Mycroft. You’ve let yourself get complacent with age.”

“Okay Sherlock, if you’re so brilliant, why don’t you play.”

They spent the next hour just trying to one up each other upping the tempo and changing songs on each other and they’re both grinning. John thinks they probably haven’t spent proper time together like this in ages. Time where they’re not bickering but being competitive. It’s a lot better than the arguing and Greg agrees. Well, he would if he stopped watching Mycroft and actually answered. After a while Sherlock gets bored.

Mycroft actually looks sad that Sherlock’s decided to give up. But when Sherlock asks where his old violin is Mycroft smiles and tells him it’s in his old room. It must be all the alcohol. John’s never seen Sherlock actively want to spend time with his brother and he’s not sure he’s seen a genuine smile come from Mycroft before. A sly grin or grimace, but never a smile.

“John, while I retrieve my violin, would you like to accompany me and I shall give you that tour you wanted earlier.”

John grins, downs his beer, and follows Sherlock out the door. Sherlock takes him through out the entire house, even the greenhouse outside and the conservatory. Sherlock says that the door to Mycroft’s art room is locked, and for good reason, Sherlock says his brother paintings are ‘an appalling insult to real art’. John thinks Sherlock is just a bit jealous.

Finally they end up at Sherlock’s bedroom door, John knows that it was used during his rehabilitation and doesn’t know what to expect. Sherlock says that Mycroft has probably converted it to a guest room now. Not that he uses that.

When they walk in they both sort of stare. Sherlock, because Mycroft has not changed a single thing and John because it’s beautiful. The room is definitely Sherlock’s.

The far side of the room is just a massive window with double doors to the balcony. Theres a small bed in a corner, because Sherlock never uses those for their primary function. A couch in another. There is a wardrobe and door to an ensuite to facilitate someone actually living in the room. There is a book case with so many different books on science and law and John’s certain he’s never heard of any of these books, some are in foreign languages.

But the right wall is just a massive chalkboard. The entire wall is filled with Sherlock’s thoughts. Equations, song notes, case deductions, drawings of things John doesn’t even know what they are but they’re certainly amazing. There is sheet music and case files strewn about over every surface and his violin is sitting in his desk. Apparently where he left it, not a speck of dust on it.

They retrieve the violin and go back to the study. The boys continue to play there instruments and John and Greg chat.

Eventually it becomes time to leave and they get in the car. John doesn’t say anything when Sherlock rests his head on his shoulder for the duration of the journey, apparently asleep and Sherlock doesn’t remove John’s hand from his leg. Greg grins at him from the front mirror and John uses the other hand to flip him off.

This has been one of John’s favourite christmases ever.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys sorry this took so long.  
> Also sorry it’s really sappy but kinda not.  
> The boys deserve some happiness before I rip it away again. 
> 
> Enjoy. ;)
> 
> \- Un-edited again. Soz.

After Christmas lunch everything went into fast forward and suddenly it was New Year’s Eve.  
Nothing much had changed during the week and it was like John hadn’t even left. He joined Sherlock on a case and caught up with Greg at the pub once.

What did change was nothing of significance. Just small things. They sat closer to each other with Sherlock resting against Johns side, John rested his hand on Sherlock’s leg in cab’s, Sherlock leaned over John into his space more when he was sitting in his chair and John brushed his hand against the back of Sherlock’s neck whenever he passed by.

Nothing changed that was noticeable to anyone else except the two of them. But both John and Sherlock knew something had changed or was changing between them since Christmas Eve. Neither wanted to say anything first. Sherlock got fed up with waiting and decided to do something about it.

But he needed advice first. Someone who had experience with relationships who wasn’t John or seventy years old. So he begrudgingly went to the only other person who knew about these things.

~•••••••••••••••••~

Breaking into Lestrade house was easy, always had been. For a police detective he was surprisingly lacking in personal security. He didn’t even have a deadbolt or anything for his door, just the lock. Which, for Sherlock, made it incredibly easy to get into.

Gavin was not home yet, considering he had only finished work twenty minutes ago, Sherlock expected him to walk in in two to four minutes depending if Donovan had distracted him for very long.

He heard the key enter the lock and when the door swung open Sherlock heard a voice swear. Apparently upon inspecting the lock Lestrade has deduced that he hadn’t been broken into and that it was just Sherlock.

He just looked at Sherlock when he walked in, not even blinking, like it was a regular occurrence. It was.

“Whatever you want, give me ten minutes. I’ve had a shit day and just need a shower.”

“Ah yes, that swim in the Thames looked wonderfully refreshing George.”

A muffled ‘fuck off Sherlock’ was heard as Lestrade drudged up the stairs, already having removed his soaked work boots.

Nine boring minutes later, the Detective Inspector emerged and headed to the kitchen. He threw a frozen lasagna packet, single serve, into the microwave and grabbed a beer from the fridge, sitting down in his armchair across from Sherlock.

He takes a long sip before turning his attention to Sherlock.  
“What have you done this time?” He asks.

Sherlock is appalled. “Me?”. He asked incredulously. “Why do you always assume I’ve done something wrong?”

“Because the only time you come to me, other than cases, is when you’ve fucked up with John and don’t know how to fix it.”’

“I’ve not done anything wrong. And neither has John. We’re fine.”  
Greg just gives him a look.  
“We’re fine. That’s what’s wrong.”

“What do you mean? You’re fine? If you guys are fine I don’t see what’s wrong. ”

“Of course you don’t Gavin.” Sherlock sighs. “Never mind” Sherlock moves to get up.

“Sherlock wait. Sit and talk to me. Please.”  
Sherlock sighs again and lands back in his seat.

“Whenever you’re ready, just tell me what’s wrong yeh?”

Sherlock takes a deep breath. Then it just all comes tumbling out and he can’t stop it.  
“Christmas Eve, mistletoe, Mrs Hudson, lunch. I think he wants to, I want to, but I don’t know for sure if he does, and Mycroft was being a prick, and I don’t know about this stuff.”  
Sherlock sighs and composes himself.  
“I need your help Greg.”

Sherlock is surprised to see Greg looks smug, not surprised by Sherlock’s confession.

Lestrade takes another sip.

“Okay, let’s start from the beginning. Obviously something happen on Christmas Eve with mistletoe and John. Lunch didn’t help the situation. You’re in love with John and don’t know if he feels the same, which is why you’ve come to me about relationship advice because you can’t talk to John or Mrs Hudson ‘cause she hasn’t dated since the ‘80’s. And Mycroft’s a prick.”  
He looks at Sherlock who is surprised.  
“Close?”

Sherlock just nods.

“Keeping my badge then.” Lestrade mumbles, grinning to himself.

“I don’t know what that means George.”

Greg just huffs a laugh, “Don’t worry Sherlock.” He grins.

Sherlock examines him to see how he’s reacting to this, his words are positive so that’s a good sign.

“So you’re not surprised by this information?”  
“What? Of course not. Remember Sherlock, despite what you may think sometimes, I did get to be a Detective without your help.”  
Sherlock just shrugs at that.  
“Also, I think you and John should’ve gotten your act together ages ago. You really do fit together perfectly. I’m happy the two of you are finally working things out.”

Sherlock notices Lestrade looks a bit sad but smiles. He jumps up to grab another beer and offers Sherlock one. He declines.

“So Sherlock, what you need to do is what we romantics call a Grand Gesture. It’s a way of showing your feelings for the other person in a romantic, profound way, so they understand the depth of your feelings for them.”

“Really Lestrade I just want to know if he feels the same, not propose.”

“Just do something a bit different than normal, something that feels more like a date than just the two of you hanging out. Do it tonight. That way you can gage his feelings for you and if you think he reciprocates then go for it. You can just blame it on New Years Eve if he doesn’t, though I highly doubt that will be the case.”

Lestrade grins at Sherlock and Sherlock just sits and thinks.

He can do that, a date. Or something that feels like it. And if John doesn’t feel the same way he can do what Lestrade said and blame it on stupid traditions. Like they did with the mistletoe. Yes. Lestrade has, for once, given an adequate solution to a problem.

Sherlock turns back to Greg who has apparently flicked the telly on and is watching some performance near Big Ben. Something in the distance catches his eye. Yes. That will do nicely.

“Thank you Lestrade. I do hope you will make an effort and get off that couch this evening, it’s been two hundred and four days since you last had intercourse and it will release some tension. Tonight will be like shooting fish in a barrel due to the festivities. Excuse the horrible metaphor. Evening Greg.”

And with that, Sherlock departs, leaving a annoyed Greg to think.

~••••••••••••••~

The tube ride was tense. John having been shocked at Sherlock actually wanting to go out on New Year’s Eve for once. Also the alarming amount of people on the tube as well. Sherlock was equally, if not more nervous about tonight. He still hadn’t figured out what he was going to say.

He couldn’t just blurt out ‘I love you John, would you be interested in a romantic relationship with me’. How pedestrian was that. He and John weren’t pedestrian. Never have been.

But after a quick phone call to Mycroft, he did now owe his mother a phone call on her birthday, he had a plan. He just needed to relax. If it didn’t feel right or if it felt like John was going to reject him then he would just say that he meant it as a friend.

The tube dropped them a few streets away due to the large crowd that had taken over every inch of the city for the evening. Sherlock was out and gone before John had a chance to follow him. Sherlock then returned a moment later after he realised John wasn’t with him.

“Sorry John. I forgot about your height disadvantage. Just follow me closely and if you get far behind I will come back for you.”

“Or. We can just do this and I won’t lose you.”

Sherlock just stares as John reaches out and intwines their hands together. John smiles at a stunned sherlock.

“Right. Yes. Good.”  
John chuckles at rendering Sherlock almost speechless and when there’s a tug on his hand he follows willingly.

They wind their way through the other people hand in hand and they get closer to their destination. Even John can deduce what they’re doing now.

As they approach the Eye, Sherlock begins to get nervous. Its a fifteen minute ride to the top and there’s only twenty two minutes to midnight so he better think of what he wants to say to John and make it quick.

John looks baffled as they are waved through the security and the doors close behind them. They have a capsule to themselves and it begins its ascent.

Sherlock’s nervous. He’s never done anything like this. He’s never felt this way before. He knew he loved John, sacrificed his life for him and his own happiness numerous times. But he denied his romantic feelings for John for years, especially when John got married. But after Christmas Sherlock could no longer deny himself. He wanted John, in any way he would be allowed to have him. Even if John didn’t feel the same then Sherlock would still be happy with friendship. The only one he’s every really had. God his heart aches whenever he looks at him, longing to be held and loved by this man. Sherlock has been scared very few times in his life, nearly all of them involve himself and John being separated forever. He knows John would never be cruel to him if he didn’t have the same feelings and that is somewhat of a comfort.

The data Sherlock has collected since John has returned and even before suggests that John may reciprocate his feelings. But until Christmas Sherlock didn’t know if John wanted a physical relationship with him. God Sherlock wanted to touch John, hold him and never let him go again.

His heart races as they reached the top. The eye stops moving and John looks confused.

“Mycroft has organised for the eye to stop during the fireworks. Safety and all that boring stuff.”

John grins and turns towards him, “The views beautiful.”

Sherlock, more nervous then he has been in his entire life, turns to the window and gazes out at London. The city is rather beautiful tonight.

Six minutes.

When Sherlock turns back to John, he is watching Sherlock. Not even glancing at the view before them. Sherlock’s heart races faster and John steps towards him. John reaches a hand out to Sherlock and watches him. Sherlock hesitatingly takes John’s hand with his own. John smiles.

They just stay there for a while. Not talking, just gazing at each other.

Five minutes.

Suddenly John steps infinitely closer and Sherlock’s breathe catches as he feels the heat radiating from John. God he just wants to step forward into John arms and embrace him. Hold him forever and never let go.

He takes a deep breath and calms his breathing. John’s still just gazing at him with a smile. Now, Sherlock thinks, now or never.

“John.” He starts, at the same time John says “Sherlock.”

They both ducks their heads, breaking eye contact and huff a laugh. How ridiculous is this. They’re acting like nervous school girls.  
Sherlock had enough of this.

Four minutes.

But before he can begin to speak, John steps closer to him and says, “Sherlock. I have to tell you something.”

No.  
No.  
John’s got that look in his eye. The one that always end up with Sherlock’s heart broken. The look he had before he says somethings stupid like “I’m spending the rest of my life with someone who’s not you.” or “I’m going back overseas to get myself killed.” Sherlock is paraphrasing of course.

Sherlock braces for impact. Locks his heart back up and uses his brain again. John’s about to say that he’s met someone. Or he moving out. Or he’s staying overseas indefinitely. Sherlock’s not sure he can handle what’s coming now. He takes a deep breath and reminds himself that he’s Sherlock Holmes. He doesn’t do feelings or caring. Mycroft’s voice in his head says ‘Caring is not an advantage.’

He’s only half listening when John starts to speak. Easier to protect his heart that way.

Three minutes.

“Look Sherlock.” He reaches out and takes Sherlock’s other hand. John straightens up and a look of determination is written on his face. John takes another breath, then begins.

“Sherlock. It’s taken me years to realise and even longer to admit it to myself but I want to be with you forever. I don’t care in what way but I just want to be near you, always. You’ve saved my life Sherlock. On numerous occasions. Every day I’m with you I count myself lucky we found each other. Before I met you I was a shell of a man, I didn’t have a reason to get up in the morning or anyone important in my life. From the moment I met you and you asked Iraq or Afghanistan, you became someone I think about. Always think about, whether I’m sad or happy. When you left us, it was like I couldn’t breathe, nothing made it better. Mary dulled the pain for a while but I wasn’t the same person I was when I was with you. But I understand now why you had to leave. You had to protect the people you loved. And I will forever be greatful that you sacrificed yourself for us. And there is nothing I regret more than not just kissing you when you walked into that restaurant. It was like I could breath again. And I felt it crumble, the walls I put up against the outside world, because you came back to me. You are and always have been the most important person in my life. You’re the first person I think of when I wake up and the last person I think of before I go to sleep. I want us to have a life together. Grow old in each other’s arms. I will love you until my last breath. And I know you don’t do feelings or relationships, so I’m fine with just knowing you will be by my side. I regret a lot of things in my life but meeting you has made me whole again. Friendship and companionship is enough for me. I won’t lie and say that I don’t want a physical relationship with you but I’m happy to live like we have been. I just need you to know how I feel about you. I’ve honestly never felt this strongly about anyone in my life. I’m probably just rambling now and you probably think I’m an idiot and you’re bored. But what I’m trying to say Sherlock, is that I’m your idiot, I’ll be your idiot forever.”

Two minutes.

Sherlock just blinks. He doesn’t know what to say. He just stands there frozen to the spot. He didn’t expect that. He’s pretty sure John has just confessed his undying love for him. It’s unbelievable. Truely, Sherlock doesn’t believe him. But when he looks in John’s eyes he has never seen him look so sincere and Sherlock almost cries with relief. John wants him too. Wants to be with him forever.

John smiles sadly at him. “It’s okay if you don’t feel the same Sherlock. I’m not looking for anything from you. As long as we can stay the way we are I’ll be the happiest man of the planet.”

Sherlock has apparently taken too long to reply or even move and John has taken this as a bad sign. John lets go of Sherlock’s hands and steps away. John just nods and moves to turn back to the window.

“John.” Sherlock whispers.  
It’s all he’s capable of now. John has rendered him speechless.

John stops and looks at him. Hope in his eyes. Sherlock launches himself at John. Wrapping his arms around him and holding on tight. John sighs and they melt into the hug. Sherlock is finally in John’s arms. And he never wants to leave. He wants to be John’s forever and John his. He clings onto John tighter and feels John laugh softly.

“Sherlock. Sherlock, you need to let go a bit. Not completely but I still need to breathe.”

Sherlock loosens his hold on John and moves back to look at him. John appears expectant. Like he’s waiting for Sherlock to say something.

Oh. Sherlock hasn’t replied. He’s sure he did say something. Unless it was just in his head again. He hasn’t given any indication about how he feels about John’s declaration.

Somewhere in the background a count down starts.

Sherlock let’s out a breathe he didn’t know he’d been holding in.

“John. John I want that. Want you forever. The two of us against the world. I can’t believe you want me too. Can’t believe this is real. This is real isn’t it?”

John just smiles at him and lifts one hand to his cheek. 

  
“Yes sherlock. This is real. I’m yours for as long as you’ll have me.”

Sherlock tightens his hold on John. John’s eyes piercing into his soul. It’s yours now John, Sherlock thinks. My whole being is yours, forever.

The count down get louder as it hits single digits.

Sherlock flicks his eyes to John lips and back again. As if asking for permission. John grins.

“Oh god yes.”

They both move forward and their lips meet. Warm against each other as they finally take the step past no return. This is it now, Sherlock thinks. And there’s no going back.

Somewhere in the background the clock strikes midnight and a new year begins.  
  
They’re lost in the feel of their lips against each other. Sherlock’s hold tightening on John’s hips. John’s hand moves into Sherlock’s hair, the other around his neck drawing him impossibly closer. Sherlock wants to stay like this forever. He feels his heart expand until it feels like it’s going to burst. So this is what happiness feels like.

Sherlock thinks this will be the best year of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also actually thinking about doing a Mystrade companion piece to this since I’m now invested into their relationship somehow.  
> Anyways. Thanks for reading. ;)


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, I’m sorry this took forever but it took me a long time to write. Anyway enjoy :)
> 
> Ps: Also this is the first smut I’ve ever written so please be nice

Somehow they made it to a cab.

It was very difficult to do so when neither of them wanted to take their lips off the other. They settled on holding hands and grinning at each other like mad until they got out of the cab. The driver looked at them from the rear view mirror and shook his head.

Sherlock did suppose they looked like giddy school girls. But he didn’t care. He had John. John was all his now. He’d never been happier than right now. 

When they made it to Baker Street Sherlock was a bundle of nerves but John was strangely calm when he unlocked the door.

Sherlock didn’t know what to expect. He wanted to kiss John some more. He wanted to hold him. He wanted to touch every inch of the body he had er0been denied for years. But maybe John didn’t want that yet. He didn’t know John’s experience with men. Only his own, which was very limited.

 

His apprehension was apparently unfounded because once inside, John pushed him roughly against the wall and kissed him hard. Sherlock groaned into the kiss and wrapped his arms around John. They kissed hard and heavy for a while but they were soon both breathless. John pulled away but reattached his mouth to Sherlock’s neck.

Sherlock moaned. He had never experienced the sensations that were spreading throughout his body towards his groin. John was deftly undoing his top shirt buttons to mouth further down his neck.

John suddenly bit down on Sherlock’s neck and sucked, Sherlock moaned louder and tried to grind against John’s lower body. John apparently got the hint because he used his knee to spread Sherlock’s legs and pushed his own between them for Sherlock to grind against. 

“I want you.”

Sherlock moaned at the words John whispered into his ear and ground particularly hard against John. He felt John’s own cock twitch on his right leg in response. John apparently also shared the sentiment about wanting to touch him everywhere, his hand traveling lower to Sherlock’s hardening cock.

 

Suddenly there was the sound of a door opening and a light spreading into the hallway. They broke apart quickly, Sherlock pulled his belstafe tightly around him to hide his half open shirt and erection. John just adjusted his pants and combed a hand through his hair.

From the darkness they could see Mrs Hudson silhouetted in the light. 

“Boys, why are you making so much noise out here? It’s nearly two o’clock in the morning” She questioned. 

Luckily the light didn’t reach them fully and she couldn’t see their flushed faces.

Good. She couldn’t see what they had been doing.

John cleared his throat and spoke. “Sorry Mrs Hudson, I had a few beers while we were out and I dropped the keys. Sorry if we woke you.” Sherlock was glad John replied as he didn’t think he could speak at the moment, he was still getting his breathe back. 

She looked sceptical but nodded. 

“Goodnight boys.”

Turning back into her flat she called out to them as she shut the door.

“Please do that in your own flat. I don’t want to see something I shouldn’t.”

The door closed and John turned back to Sherlock. Their eyes connected and they both simultaneously broke into giggles. John leaned against him and used Sherlock’s shoulder to cover up the sound and Sherlock put his hand over his mouth to stop his own laughter.

They’d almost been caught by Mrs Hudson. She had already assumed there’d been shagging the whole time but for her to accidentally see it was a different thing.

The giggles subsided and their breathing evened out a bit before either of them moved away. John pulled back and looked up at Sherlock.

Sherlock didn’t know what he was thinking, whether he had regretted what just happened.

 

Leaning closer John whispered, “Sherlock, get your sexy arse upstairs so I can have my way with you.” 

Sherlock must have looked surprised because John huffed out a laugh and grinned.  Sherlock could only nod and turn towards the stairs. He practically ran up the stairs with John hot on his heels.

When they opened their own flat they managed to control themselves long enough to shed their coats and discard their shoes. 

As soon as that was done though, John pounced. Kissing Sherlock both harder and softer at the same time. He started to rub his palm against Sherlock’s flagging erection but the contact had it interested again. The feelings were so overwhelming and Sherlock couldn’t think straight. Well honestly, nothing about John’s hands unbuttoning his trousers and moving them into his pants to grasp his bottom was anywhere near straight.

John removed his hand from Sherlock’s arse and undid the last few remaining buttons of his shirt, pushing it off his shoulders. Pushing him against the door he gave Sherlock a long, hard, deep kiss before moving to kiss down his neck. Trailing kisses down his torso, John knelt in front of him and kissed around his navel. Kissing further downwards into the opening of Sherlock’s trousers. He pulled the zip down finally and slipped his fingers between Sherlock’s trousers and pants. 

Looking up at Sherlock, John asked “Sherlock, is this okay? Do you want me to do this?”

Sherlock nodded, incapable of words. But John asked again, apparently needing verbal conformation. 

“Yes. Oh god yes.” Sherlock managed to whisper, sounding breathless. This was consent enough for John, who swiftly pulled Sherlock’s pants and trousers down to his feet in one go. Sliding his hands back up Sherlock’s legs John began to mouth at the base of Sherlock’s cock, which was standing erect against his bare stomach. Splaying one hand on Sherlock’s hip, he used the other to hold the base of Sherlock’s cock, licking a stripe along the underside from root to tip.  

Sherlock was trembling. He tipped his head back for some support and spread his hands flush against the wall. He’d never felt this before, having only being on the giving end, never the receiving. He regrets things he did while high and looking for a fix. He’d never felt any emotion for the very few sexual partners he’d had in his life, none even resembling anything like the love he felt for john.

 John apparently had done this before, or perhaps just picked things up from having it done to him because the way he flicked his tongue over the slit left Sherlock breathless and gasping Johns name. John was good, very good at this indeed, so good in fact that when John finally wrapped his lips around Sherlocks cock that he almost came instantly. He managed to control the urge but felt his orgasm build in the pit of his stomach.

 

John reached up and grabbed one of his hands and placed on the back of his head. Sherlock got the hint and thread his fingers into Johns hair. John hollowed out his cheeks and began to move his mouth faster up and down Sherlocks cock. Sherlock’s hand began to push Johns head in time to the even rhythm. The feeling in the pit of his stomach became stronger and he suddenly pulled johns head off him and let go.

“John.” He gasped breathless, “John stop, I don’t want it like that.”

John was carefully rubbing his hands up and down Sherlock’s thighs soothingly and looked up into his eyes.

 “What’s wrong Sherlock? Do you want me to stop? If this is too much we can stop.”

Sherlock let out a ragged breath, “No John, I want this, want you. But I want it at the same time. Properly together for our first time.” 

 John just looked up at him and smiled. He slowly stood back up and cupped Sherlock’s face in his hands, kissing him softy.

“Whatever you want Sherlock, I happy to move at any pace you want. I just want to be here with you. That’s enough for me.”

Sherlock beamed and kissed John harder.

Pulling away he examined John’s fully clothed body and looked downwards to his own basically bare body. That wasn’t fair. He wanted to see John as well, touch every inch of the gorgeous body he had only seen glimpses of.  He tugged at John’s jumper. 

“This ugly thing has to come off.”

John squeezed his hips lightly, “Oi, this is my favourite jumper I’ll have you know.”

“Yes and it’s ghastly. Hides your gorgeous body underneath this bad wool.”

 John laughed softly and pressed a kiss to his lips. “Alright then, your wish is my command.”

John reached down and tugged the offending article up and over his head. Sherlock was disappointed at what lay beneath.

“John really?” He grumbled. “Why must you wear so many layers?” He asked before grabbing the edge of the shirt and pulling it up and off.

 That was better, Johns’ beautifully toned chest right there in front of him to touch and taste as he wanted.

John must have noticed the way Sherlock was looking at him and suggested they make their way to the bedroom, sheding the rest of their clothes.

 

When Sherlock positioned himself on the bed, John slowly climbed into the space between his legs and braced himself over Sherlock.

Sherlock looked up at John. Trying to put all the things he felt for John into that look. John must have understood because he smiled warmly at Sherlock and dipped to kiss him.

They kissed languidly for a while before it became more heated. Sherlock pushed his body upwards to press against John, wanting more friction. John is apparently very intuitive when it’s comes to sex because he grinds down on Sherlock and they both let out a low moan.

 

“Sherlock.” John manages to say, with a breathless voice.

“Top draw.”

John chuckles before leaning over to the dresser and grabbing it.

He squeezed some lube on his hands and warmed it before he leaned back down on top of Sherlock and wrapped his hand around Sherlock’s erection.

 Sherlock gasped, John had warmed it up but it’s still felt cool and it being John’s hand and not his own doing this felt very different.

 

“God Sherlock, I Love you.”

Sherlock moaned and John capture his lips. John lined his own erection up and wrapped his hand around both of them.

All Sherlock could do was lay there clinging to John and moan.

Sherlock felt it in his toes and shouted out John’s name as he came. The orgasm ripped through him and he shuddered through it. When he started to come down from it, he felt John tense above him and says his name.

 

John collapsed on top of him, exhausted from holding himself up. They kissed slowly and just revealed in their pleasure. John finally rolled off of him and went to the bathroom, bring a cloth to clean Sherlock off.

When he returned he pulled the covers up and around them and lay on his back. Sherlock turned onto his side and scooted closer to John. Resting him head on his chest.

John slowly combed his hand through Sherlock’s hair.Sherlock decided is that this was his favourite place in the world, wrapped up around John.

Sherlock wasn’t sure who fell asleep first but they were both soon out.

 

....................

 

Sherlock woke up warm. A solid, warm body half draped over his. John. John and he had been intimate last night. It wasn’t a dream. John loved him.Sherlock grinned.

He thouroughly enjoyed what he and John did last night but he wanted more. He wanted to reciprocate what John had done to him and do even more. But he’d have to see how far John wanted to go.

John moved and unattached himself from Sherlock, rubbing a hand over his face.

 

“Good morning John.”

“Mm Morning Sherlock.”

Sherlock decided that now was a good as time as any. He lifted the covers and hitched his leg over John, straddling his hips.Pressing a quick kiss to Johns lips, he began to kiss down Johns neck. Moving slowing downwards he flicked a tongue over each of John’s nipples and dipped into his navel as he made his way closer to his target.

 Sherlock was mouthing around John’s hardening penis and John hummed sleepily. John might still be half asleep but his penis certainly wasn’t.

Sherlock licked at John’s cock before taking it into his mouth. He had done this before, once or twice but he was high so it didn’t count.

He looked up through his lashed to see John who was suddenly very awake and had moved onto his elbows to watch Sherlock with hungry eyes.

 

It didn’t take long before John was moaning his name and warning Sherlock of his oncoming orgasm. Sherlock just swallowed it down and kissed his way back up to John’s face.

John wrapped his hand around Sherlock’s length and stroked him until Sherlock came as well.

John pressed a kiss to his lips before getting up and fetching something to clean them up with.

When he hopped back into bed Sherlock curled up around him again and they fell back asleep.

 

They would have to talk in the morning, but for now Sherlock just wanted to be near John for as long as possible.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo sorry about the wait guys. :)
> 
> Better and longer chapter soon.

John is surprisingly the first one awake. Getting out of bed he heads to the bathroom to shower and brush his teeth. Wrapping his dressing gown around him he goes upstairs to grab a clean pair of pants.

 The clock on the wall said it was almost ten thirty. He didn’t know they’d sleep for that long but he supposed they were late coming home and after their activities last night they didn’t get to bed till late.

 He walked into the kitchen and noticed Mrs Hudson had brought some fresh scones up and he popped the kettle on. A cuppa and some scones sounded good.

Sherlock emerged from the bedroom while John was pouring the tea. He looked very disheveled and John grinned.

“Morning John.” He grumbled sleepily.

He shuffled over to John and leans his head on John’s shoulder while he stirred the sugar in. John turns his head and kisses Sherlock’s forehead.

“Morning Sherlock. Mrs Hudson brought some scone’s up.”

“Oh lovely, I’m famished this morning for some reason.”

 John chuckled and they moved into the living room.

“That’ll be from all the exhaustive shagging.”

 As they settled on the couch Sherlock let out a noise of disagreement.

“I mean, as enjoyable as it was John, I doubt your skills in the bedroom could render me exhausted.”

 

Sherlock propped his feet up on John’s lap and grabbed his tea. John grabbed his ankle.

“Are you sure? We could try to test that theory later on.”

Sherlock looked intrigued at the words test and theory.

“Yes we could. I can document the amount of food consumed beforehand and see if it affects my stamina.” 

“I don’t know how i feel about you documenting our sex life but I’m all for you eating more food. You’ve gotten skinnier while I was away.”

 

Sherlock just hums a quiet agreement. He doesn’t want to think about John going away again. They have so little time before John has to leave again. Five days until Sherlock’s birthday and then John leaves the next day.

“Sherlock.” John calls softly, Sherlock must have been deeper in thought than he realised because John was shaking his arm a bit. “Sherlock, where did you go?”

“Hmm, sorry John I was just thinking.”

Sherlock puts his tea down on the table and takes John’s out of his hands.

“What were you thinking?” Johns asks as Sherlock places his hands on Johns shoulders and swings his right leg across John’s lap so he’s straddling him.

“I was thinking John. That very soon you will be a very brave and courageous man and go back to fight for your country and that we don’t have a lot of time left. And I was thinking that maybe,” Sherlock leans closer to press his lips against John’s ear.“You could fuck me.”

The grip that John has on Sherlock’s hips tightens and he lets out a breathe.

“Jesus Sherlock.”

“I’ll take that as a yes then.”

Sherlock then proceeds to grind his pelvis against John. The grip tightens further.

 Breathing out again.

“Sherlock. I think we need to talk first. Then we can do that, later.”

Sherlock’s sighs defeatedly. “Fine.”

He dismounts John and grabs his own tea.

“What do we need to talk about.”

“To be honest, a lot of things.” Sherlock grunts in annoyance.

“Seriously Sherlock. I know how we feel about each other but I am still technically on active duty and have to leave after your birthday. But until I come back are we going to tell people? I would rather us enjoy this time we have left together without interference.”

 

Sherlock hums in agreement.

“I suggest we lock all the windows and doors and tell Mycroft we’re shagging like rabbits and that should keep everyone away for a while. He’ll put security on the doors so no one can interrupt.”

 John huffs a laugh.

“I love that idea Sherlock but you’ll have cases again soon. ‘Murderers only have Christmas off to spend time with their families before their inevitable incarceration.’ Isn’t that what you say?”

Sherlock sighs. “Yes John but I can easily shut the website down for a couple of days or put up a “shagging. back in ten.” sign.”

John laughs. “That won’t stop Lestrade.”

“Ergh, don’t mention him to me please. He’s probably off shagging my brother.”

John grimaces. “God Sherlock, I don’t want to think about that.”

“Imaging how I feel. Seeing Lestrade all the time, he’s constantly looking for Mycroft to turn up at a crime scene or make any excuse to see him. I swear that’s the only reason he calls me to crime scenes half the time.”

“Sherlock. Greg invites you to crimes scenes so you can help him. And to keep you off the drugs. He’s been doing it longer than I’ve know you.”

“Exactly. I’ve been doing it for years and he should’ve picked up a few things. Gregory isn’t stupid enough that after all these years he still needs my help.”

 

John just stared at Sherlock. “Did you just call him Greg and compliment him in the same sentence.”

Sherlock huffed.

“You might get a shag just for that.” Sherlock perks up.

“Lets go then.” Nearly tripling himself over scrambling to get off the couch. John grabs him and pulls him back down.

 “I would love for us to be intimate Sherlock but we should talk about it.”

Sherlock’s sighs again. “Why do you have to make it sound so boring John, really.”

“Sherlock. We need to talk about certain things like protection and if we’re both ready for this.”

“No need for protection John, I get a monthly test, thanks to Mycroft and I know you get tested before and after you deploy and I know your test results. Also thanks to Mycroft.” 

“Sherlock, even though I’ve done a few things with a bloke before, I haven’t done that. The whole thing.”

 

Sherlock is a bit shocked. He supposed John is ‘not gay’ so it shouldn’t be a surprise. But he was very good last night so Sherlock had assumed. Well, that’s something about sex Sherlock could teach John. He didn’t think that was possible.

 “Sherlock. Sherlock, you’ve zoned out again. If this is too much for you we can keep doing what we’ve been doing.”

“No John not at all. Your inexperience in this doesn’t matter to me. In many ways you are still the better lover, I’ve only had one other romantic partner and maybe two other sexual ones. I’m not quite sure, the drugs you know.” 

John just looks at Sherlock surprised.

“Well as alarming as that is Sherlock, I still think we should wait. At least save it for your birthday as something special. We can do other stuff until then and just figure each other out.”

Sherlock grumbled. “Fine John. But if it’s for my birthday then I get to decide what we do.” 

John grabbed hold of Sherlock and pulled him against his chest.“Okay then love. Whatever you want.”

John kissed his temple and Sherlock snuggles closer against his chest.

 .........………

 

After some lunch they end up in bed again.

 “John.” Sherlock whines. “Can’t we just do it now. I don’t want to wait for my birthday.”

 John pulls off Sherlock with a wet pop. He looks up at Sherlock and shakes his head.“No Sherlock. We agreed. Now you just lay back and enjoy what you’ve got now.”

 He resumes his work on Sherlock’s cock and Sherlock moans loudly. He’s just on the edge when Sherlock’s phone rings.

Loudly.

Sherlock groans in annoyance as John once again stops his actions.

“Don’t you dare answer that John. We’re in the middle of something.”

“Looks like it’s Lestrade, so it’s probably a case. The work is more important than sex surely.” John grins and answers the phone.

Sherlock is staring frustratingly at John while John tries not to laugh on the phone.

“He’s busy with an experiment, that’s why I picked up. Yes it’s not important. We can be there in under an hour.” Sherlock grimaces.

Hanging up he phone John hops of the bed. “I’m going to have a quick shower and then we better be off to this crime scene. Lestrade sounded like he wanted it over with soon.”

 Sherlock walked to follow him into the bathroom but John tutted and shut the door.

“John. This isn’t going to take care of itself. Get back here and finish what you started.” Sherlock calls through the door.

“I don’t want anything to get in the way of the work Sherlock. I thought you would want to be able to concentrate.”

John replies.

“Bugger off Watson.” Sherlock yells though the door.

Johns laugh echos through bathroom.

.........

 

Lestrade looked confused.

“Why are you more frustrated than normal Sherlock?”

“It’s John’s fault.”

“Oi, stop telling people it’s my fault.”John yells from over near the body.

“I’m still confused”

“Of course you are Geoffrey.”

“Bugger off.”

“I’m frustrated because John is withholding sex.”

“Shit.” Is heard sworn from a couple meters away.

Lestrade looks even more confused. “Why would you tell me that? Why do you think I even want to know about your sex life?”

“You asked Lestrade and I answered. Don’t ask questions you don’t want to know. Just like I don’t ask questions about you and my brother.”

Sherlock turned and evaluated Lestrade recoiling in disgust. “Disgusting.”

Lestrade turned red.

“What do you mean me and your brother? There’s nothing going on.”

Sherlock just sighed. “It’s obvious you’ve had lunch with him.”

Turning to evaluate Lestrade again he reconsiders. “Actually lunch is today. That’s why you’re eager to get this solved before lunch and why you called me in.”

Lestrade calmed a bit. “Yeh well, lunch is just about my promotion, Mycroft called and invited me so he could tell me if there was any progress.”

 Sherlock squinted and deduced again.

“No. Mycroft knows you got the job. A phone call would have sufficed. Lunch is because he wants to congratulate you in person. Also I saw the Chief Inspector at the Met ball at Christmas and it’s clear it was between you and some other idiot. Clearly you are the superior candidate due to your case solve rate. You’re welcome by the way.”

 

Then Sherlock was off.

“John!” He called as he bounded down the alley towards the road for a cab.

 “Thanks?” Lestrade muttered to himself and John, who looked confused.

“You and me have to have a pub chat mate.”

 John looked sheepish. “Yeh for sure.”

 “JOHN!” Was called once more and off he went.

 

 

 

 


	18. The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all, sorry I haven’t updated in a while but I finally got around to writing the last three chapters of the fic. I will be posting them in the next day or so after I edit them. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading this and these last three chapters I will be dedicating to a couple people who always commented and gave me inspiration to keep going. Thanks to the people who left kudos or even commented anonymously, it really means a lot. 
> 
> So without further ado this chapter is dedicated to the lovely DaringD and the amazing Bomuki.
> 
> PS: Heavy Smut is this chapter. Tags have been updated to reflect.

 

The case doesn’t take long and they’re back the next morning. After a long sleep they’re finally having some late lunch when Sherlock’s phone rings again.

“Oh for gods sake. If that’s Geoffrey, tell him we’re not doing it. Tell him unless it’s a double murder or something equally good he can do it himself. How the Metropolitan police service survived in the years before me I have no idea.” 

Sherlock then flicks his dressing gown dramatically and heads into the bathroom.

John just sighs and picks up the phone. After a short conversation with Lestrade he tells him they’ll be there in thirty minutes.

Sherlock emerges from the bathroom and announces he is ready and John must hurry as there’s a murderer to catch. 

.............

 

When they arrive at the crime scene Lestrade declares that they must call him Detective Chief Inspector. Sherlock declares he’ll still just call him Lestrade and bounces off to find the bodies, Donovan trailing after him yelling about protocol. John hangs back to congratulate Greg.

“That’s great news mate, congratulations.” John shakes Lestrade’s hand. “We’ll have to go out for drinks before I leave again to catch up on everything.” Greg nods in agreement smiling.

“Definitely John, the promotion is not the only exciting news to tell you.”

“Oh, so the ‘date’ with Mycroft went well then.” John teases. Lestrade flushes a bit but denies it was a date.

“Nothing like that, we just talked about my promotion and that if I do well in my twelve month review they might decide to promote me to Detective superintendent.” John’s impressed.

“I’m glad your hard work is paying off Greg, finally. You’ve been a dedicated Detective for years and they were bound to see that sooner or later. Lestrade shrugs.

“Less about the hard work and dedication, more about budget cuts I reckon. And maybe some upstairs political influence to be honest.”

John sighs, “I’m sure that’s not the case but at least he’s helping to get the work you do recognised. That’s nice at least. Probably one of the nicest things Mycroft Holmes has done in his life.”

Lestrade just huffs a laugh.

“Haven’t know him well enough to know if that’s the truth. But at least I’ll still be able to come out to crime scenes, if they’re big enough. Officially I start the Job next Monday and I’m dreading spending my days at a desk if I’m honest. I do still have ten to fifteen years of work until I retire if I’ve saved enough and I don’t particularly want to do that chained to a desk.”Leatrade just sighs.

The two of just stand there for a minute until they’re called upon by Sherlock who is on the roof of the building blabbering on about adhesive and masks. 

Then Sherlock is dashing off to search the suspects house, John trailing behind.

............

 

The case takes them longer than expected. Days. It’s more complicated than they thought at first. But eventually Sherlock figures it out and Lestrade arrests the guy.

They’ve not really had time to spend together as a couple but they take time when theres a break in the case to have a quick cuddle and a bit of a snog. Apparently it helps Sherlock think.

They crash into bed a little after midnight with John murmuring a tired “Happy Birthday” to Sherlock before they both pass out.

.................

 

Sherlock wakes up to the smell of bacon. And eggs. And toast and tea.

He heads into the bathroom to get himself presentable and wrap his dressing gown around him before entering the kitchen.

The plates of food on the kitchen table is enough to feed more than just the two of them. And there certainly will be enough leftovers for lunch and dinner.

John must have heard Sherlock enter because he turns around and gives Sherlock the biggest smile.

 

“Morning Love, Happy Birthday.” John plates up the food he finished cooking and turns off the gas.

John makes his way over to Sherlock and gives him a hug. Drawing back slowly he lifts his hand to Sherlock’s face and kisses him slowly and tenderly.

“I hope you’re hungry, we have a couple of guests who are joining us for your birthday breakfast. Mrs Hudson is kindly distracting them downstairs while I finished cooking. I was just about to come wake you, you better have a shower and get dressed quick. They’ll be up soon.”

“And just who are they? If you say Lestrade and my brother I may vomit.”

John chuckles softly.

“No love, a good surprise. Now hurry along into the shower or the food will be cold.”

 

Sherlock retreats to the bathroom and is quick about his shower and shave. He emerges not long after and heads back into the sitting room where he can hear Mrs Hudson and two other voices.

A male and female. A male and female he knows. Very well.

He’s crushed by the attack hug from his mother before he even had chance to lay eyes on her. She begins fussing immediately.

 

“Oh Sherlock.” She tuts, “you’re getting far too skinny. I was just about to tell Mrs Hudson here to make sure you eat everyday but if John has moved back in full time then he can do it. Mikey did mention something about a war but you eating is more important, isn’t it John dear.”

Sherlock glances over to John, who has taken the safer route and sat next to Sherlock’s father, but the barely contained laughter in his eyes doesn’t really make Sherlock believe his next words. 

“Of course Sherlock having three meals a day is the most important thing. Or otherwise all this chasing around after criminals would break the man.” Sherlock grimaces, but his mother finally lets go to hold him at an arms length. She’d squints at him.

“You’ve been getting some action darling. Sex is one of the most important things for a man to experience in his life.”

Sherlock turns beet red and John can’t hold in his laughter this time and try’s his best to control himself, excusing himself into the kitchen to get the tea.

 

“Mother please stop. You’re so embarrassing. Why are you even here? Can’t you just send a card like you do every year.” His mother tuts again,

“Absolutely not darling. It’s a big birthday today, there’s no way I’m missing that. It’s been fourty years since you emerged from my womb and I think that deserves more than a card, don’t you.” Sherlock turns an even darker red and Johns restrained laugh is heard in the kitchen.

“Plus I wanted to see how you were doing after that terrible Christmas the other year.”

 

She leans closer and whispers into his ear,

“Whatever did happen to Mary and their child? Mycroft won’t tell us, he says it’s for you or John to tell us what’s happened. It can’t have been good if John’s living back here with you again. Even though they had their problems, no marriage is ever perfect, they both seemed excited to be having a baby.”

 

Sherlock has to interrupt his mother’s questions now because John’s enteredthe room again with the tray of tea and Sherlock doesn’t want to upset John.

“Mother, John or I will inform you of what has happened when we think it’s appropriate. Now let’s sit and have some breakfast so you can embarrass me some more shall we.”

They all move into the kitchen and sit around the small table, Mrs Hudson joins them as well. She seems to be getting along well with Mrs Holmes. 

John is immersed in a conversation with Sherlock’s father but looks up and smiles at him every so often.

.........

 

After breakfast the four of them, excluding Mrs Hudson who has book club, take a trip out to the museum to see the new exhibit and then to an art gallery John has never been to before.

Sherlock spends a lot of the time spouting off random facts about the paintings and artists to John, who is genuinely interested, while Sherlock’s parents follow behind.

 

They have a small lunch at Angelo’s because Sherlock declares “I am the birthday boy and that’s what I want.”

And walks in that direction. John and his parents just chuckle and follow.

 

After lunch they go to some shops and Sherlock’s parents treat him to some new clothes. He is an adult and capable of buying them himself, Sherlock argues. But his mother insists, because she wants to pick them so Sherlock actually looks respectable.

 

.............

After they finish shopping they make their way back to Baker Street and Sherlock has already deduced by the light and sound emanating from upstairs what awaits him for the rest of his birthday. They all head upstairs and as Sherlock predicted everyone is there and shouts ‘Happy Birthday’ when they enter.

Mrs Hudson has returned from book club, Mycroft, Anthea and Lestrade are there as well as Molly and Simon. 

 

Molly comes and gives his a big birthday hug and greets Sherlock’s parents. Sherlock retreats into his room under the guise of putting his shopping away. Sherlock’s parents greet everyone and Mycroft introduces Greg to the Holmes’. After Sherlock doesn’t emerge five minutes later John goes to fetch him.

 

Sherlock is hanging up his new suit, very slowly to avoid having to return to the living room.John walks up behind him and wraps his arms around him. Sherlock relaxes into John.

“I’m not going to be long John. It’s just too much, you know how I detest birthdays.” 

“I know love.” John tightens his grip, places a small kiss on Sherlock’s neck and let’s go, returning to the sitting room.

Not long after, Sherlock emerges and decides Molly and Simon are the safest choice not to be harassed. At least they can talk about dead bodies, something interesting.

 

Somehow John persuaded Greg to go up to talk to Mycroft when Anthea leaves to answer a phone call. Obviously seeing her eldest son talk to someone who he does not employ has sparked an interest in Mrs Holmes and she makes her way over and starts to bombard Greg with questions. The smile on her face seems to convey her delight in the answers. Poor Greg has slightly pink cheeks after a certain question. Mycroft says something distasteful to his mother who swats his arm and returns to Mrs Hudson.

John manages to get Sherlock to do a round and at least make small talk with all the guests before Mrs Hudson brings out some nibbles to eat. It’s only late afternoon and really just a small gathering for a quick celebration. Everyone knows Sherlock doesn’t want a big birthday even though it’s his 40th. He would rather forget it.

Sherlock’s mother and Mrs Hudson insist he play something on his violin. So the flat turns silent except Sherlock’s playing.

When Sherlock has finished and the talking has commenced again, John offers to make some more tea and insists Mrs Hudson remains seated. He’s cleaning up the plates from earlier when the kettle goes off.

 

“Sherlock love, turn that kettle off will you?” He calls as he balances the old cups and plates on his arm still insisting Mrs Hudson shouldn’t help.

Sherlock appears to be the closest to the kettle and just sighs walking into the kitchen muttering, “Yes John.”

Neither of them notice the flat has gone dead quiet. Neither of them notice why either but when John returns with the teas he notices there’s a grin on Molly’s face and Mrs Hudson and Mrs Holmes both giggle and starts to gossip.

 

The afternoon turns out to be not as dreadful as Sherlock thought it would be. Sherlock, Molly and Anthea debating the best way to incapacitate a person without leaving evidence. Mrs Hudson and Mrs Holmes talking about gardening and ‘their’ boys. John, Simon and Mrs Holmes talking about John’s tour and when he will be home. Also not to be missed is Greg and Mycroft talking in the corner.

 

...........

When they all eventually leave, Sherlock decides he’s had quite an enjoyable afternoon but is relived he can spend the rest of the day with John before he leaves in the morning. Sherlock remember what John promised him also a week ago and Sherlock intends to collect. But later on. 

They order in some Thai and put on a documentary and cuddle up on the couch. For now, It’s all Sherlock wants. Just him and John watching crap telly.

 

Sherlock doesn’t want to think about it really, but John leaves again in the morning. Back to Syria. Back to fighting. Sherlock tried not to think about John over there. He’s realised it scares him. He wants to be with John, be Johns’ completely before he loses him again. It’s a shorter amount of time but it’ll still feel the same when John walks out the door. Sherlock clings a bit more to Johns jumper.

He’s not ready to let go yet.

 

...............

“John, may we please have penetrative intercourse? You promised we could for my birthday.” John chokes on his tea.

“Jesus Sherlock, you can be a bit more subtle.”

Sherlock just give him a look that says ‘when have I ever been subtle’ John just sighs.

“Okay Sherlock. We can make love. I did promise you for your birthday.”

Sherlock immediately becomes very excited, almost tripping over on his way to the bedroom. John follows.

 

By the time John has reached the bedroom Sherlock has already stripped of all his clothes and is sitting on the edge of the bed completly void of clothing. John will never get used to the sight of Sherlock stark naked. God he’s beautiful. Gorgeous, incredible, sexy. More words run through his head as he shucks his ownclothes and makes his way over.

Sherlock’s reaches for him and John joins their lips. John pushes Sherlock back on the bed and Sherlock flips them over. He kisses Johns’ neck, moving further down towards his penis. Sherlock has gotten a lot better at this, after some careful guidance from John and his own skills of observation. John loves it when Sherlock sucks him off.

 

Sherlock mouths around the base of Johns penis, he licks a wet stripe along the side before engulfing John in his mouth. Working his tongue along the underside he wraps his fingers around the base, stroking the parts he can’t reach. God John is so hard.

Sherlock’s does this thing with his tongue on Johns slit and John almost comes.

“Sherlock! Sherlock you have to stop doing that or I’ll come now and we won’t be able to move to the main event.”

Sherlock pulls off and makes his way back  up. They kiss for a bit and John does this thing with his tongue that makes Sherlock moan. He flips them over, reaches into the nightstand for lube and kisses his own way down Sherlock’s body. 

 

“Okay love, you’re going to need to relax. I’m going to go slowly but if you feel any pain or discomfort tell me and I’ll stop.”

John works his hand up and down Sherlock’s shaft a few times placing kisses to the base. He begins sucking on Sherlock and when he has his head thrown back in pleasure John lubes up one finger. He trails it lightly along Sherlock’s pernium towards his entrance. He lightly rubs Sherlock’s puckered hole and can hear Sherlock gasp above him.

“Sherlock? Still okay?”

“Yes John continue, it’s just strange having someone else’s finger there, it’s been a while.”

John stops his movements and looks up at Sherlock questioningly.

“I’ve fingered myself a couple times. I tried to recreate the feeling that I got when I first had penetrative sex. But it was horrible and I was high at the time so this is much better.” Sherlock give John a reassuring smile. “Continue John, please.”

“You worry me something Sherlock, these things you haven’t told me about. It makes me upset you were in such a dark place.”

 

Sherlock looks back down at John.

“If you want John, I will tell you everything from my birth until this day, but we have the rest of our lives to figure out each other past. I would prefer to look to the future.” John beamed at him. Sherlock’s voice drops deeper and insanely sultry. “A future where I preferably have your hard penis inside me.”

 

John moans. Fuck yes. Back to it then. He resumes his actions on Sherlock’s hole and when he feels it loosen up a bit he slowly pushes his finger past the first ring of muscle. Sherlock moans above him. 

“How’s that?”

“Fine John, odd but not unpleasant. Please continue.”

John wraps his lips back around Sherlock’s penis and continues to work his finger in. He adds more lube and a second when he thinks Sherlock is ready. A third soon after. He scissors his fingers and opens Sherlock further. He thinks he’s ready.

He removes his fingers and looks up at Sherlock, he asks if he’s positive about doing this without protection. Sherlock nods quickly.

 

“John I would very much like to have your penis inside me now so if you would kindly hurry up and fuck me I would be very appreciative.”John moans, life Sherlock’s legs around his waist and lines up.

He slowly pushes his penis past the first ring of muscle. He lets Sherlock adjust to his girth and after he himself gets used to it he pushes further in. His balls brush against Sherlock arse and he knows he’s bottomed out.

Leaning on his forearms above Sherlock he lowers himself down and kisses him. 

“You okay Love?”

“Fine John, it’s odd but again, not unpleasant. You can move whenever you’re ready.”

Sherlock breaths out as John rotates his hips. 

“Okay, let me know if you want me to stop at any time. I’m close anyway so I don’t think I’ll last very long.”

 

John draws his dick out slowly before pushing back inside. Sherlock moans. John does it again. And again. And again. Building up the speed and strength of his thrusts until Sherlock is writhing underneath him moaning while explicit words come from his mouth. Johns never heard Sherlock swear so much as in the last hour.

John is thrusting deep, fast and when a particular thrust has Sherlock calling out his name as it appears John has finally hit his prostate. He wraps his hand around Sherlock’s cock which is leaking precome and strokes it in time with his thrusts.

Sherlock is chanting his name again and again each time John thrusts. Sherlock is beginning to tense up and John knows he’s about to come. John thrusts harder and faster, ignoring the burn in his legs. He swipes his thumb across Sherlock’s slit and thrusts particularly deep and Sherlock is coming. He comes in long spurts across his own stomach and on Johns’ hand.

 

John speeds his thrust up and they start to become erratic. He’s about to come. Sherlock grasps onto him and whispers into his ear.

“Come for me John.”John does, pushing deep into Sherlock.

His back arches and he stills. He coming into Sherlock right now so he can’t think. His brain is just white with pleasure.

 

God it feels so good.

John collapses onto Sherlock and they’re are both panting as they try to calm their breathing. 

John turns his head and kisses Sherlock. Resting his forehead against Sherlock he whispers against his lips. “God that was amazing. I love you so much Sherlock Holmes.” Sherlock kisses him and replies, “I love you John Watson.” With the energy they have left they grin ecstatically at each other.

 

John can feel his come sliding out of Sherlock’s arse alongside his dick. When he goes to pull out Sherlock says, “No. Stay there, stay inside me for a while. I feel complete with you inside me.” John argues he has to check for any damage but Sherlock says that can wait. John breaths out and kisses Sherlock languidly.

 

They kiss for a bit but after a particularly skilled move with his tongue from Sherlock Johns cock twitches. Sherlock insists John stay in him until he’s hard and they can go again but John says they need to clean Sherlock up and he needs more time before they can go again.  

John cleans Sherlock up and prods his fingers at Sherlock’s hole to check for damage. When Sherlock moans, John suggests he ‘check’ his prostrate for damage. A whimper from Sherlock confirms that’s exactly what he wants. It doesn’t take long for Sherlock to become fully hard again with Johns’ fingers slowly sliding in and out of his wet hole. 

By the time John is hard again Sherlock is writhing I’m pleasure. He decide to take matters into his own hands. Literally. He strokes John’s cock back into full hardness rolling John onto his back and straddling his hips. Sherlock is still wet from Johns’ come and the lube from earlier, it hasn’t been long so it hasn’t dried yet, so he lines Johns’ dick up with his hole and pushes down until John once again is bottomed out.

 

Sherlock braces his hand on Johns’ chest and slowly starts to grind his ass against John’s hope. John grabs Sherlock’s waist and when he begins to move up and down on his cock, John thrusts up and I to to Sherlock. They set a fast pase and they’re both moaning in pleasure and Sherlock just rides John until he’s coming. And John fucks him through his orgasm until he spills into Sherlock’s used hole. 

 

Shelock snuggles against John’schest and John wraps his arms around him. When Johns’ hand rubs along his back Sherlock whispers, ‘lower.’ And John played which his arsehole, pushing his come back inside. 

 

They have another round but Sherlock tops this time before they pass out from exhaustion. 

Sherlock whispers against a sleepy John’s chest that this is the best birthday he’s ever had. 

 

          ~................~

 

John leaves early the next morning.

Sherlock once again stands at the window and watches him leave.

Sherlock made sure they had another round of very enthusiastic and vocal sex earlier. He didn’t want him to leave and kept thinking the car would stop and John would run back down the street and back to Baker Street. Back to him. The car kept moving until it was out of Sherlock’s sight.

Last time was hard enough but this time he had a sick feeling in pit of his stomach. He hoped. He hoped with all his heart he would see John again. Two months wasn’t a lot of time. And then John would be home. Soon. He kept chanting the word in his head. The pit of his stomach was filled with dread.

Would he ever seen John Watson again?

 


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh the angst and danger is this Chapter.  
> I apologise in advance. 
> 
> Dedicated to Akwolfgrl & Potato.

Arriving at the base hours later the first thing John wanted to do was call Sherlock.

Sherlock answered after the first ring and he assured him he had arrived safely and would call as much as possible. He would write some more as well. John had to hang up a short time later.

Back to it then. After resetting up his corner of the tent with his stuff he changed and made his way back to the canteen.

 

The twins where there and so was LC Knight. They all greeted him like an old friend. He decided that spending the next two months with these people he considered friends wasn’t all that bad and before he knew it he would be on his way back to Sherlock. Everyone, once Smith had extracted it from him, was excited to hear they were FINALLY together. The more he talked about Sherlock the more he missed him. He’d be on his way back to him soon. Back to London. Back to 221B. Back to home.

He would never leave again.

 

........

The first month passed quickly but the second dragged on. They had daily patrols, some day trips and had a two day trip leaving late afternoon. He called Sherlock to let him know he wouldn’t be at the base and he’ll call as soon as he could. 

 

“It’s only a two day trip Sherlock. Then it’ll be less than two weeks until I come home. You just have to wait that much longer and when I’m home I promise never to leave you again.”

Sherlock, through the computer seemed to relax at Johns’ reassurance. But continued to be irritated.

“Fine John.” Sherlock softened a bit and turned to face John again. “Promise you’ll be home as soon as possible. Don’t do anything stupid to delay yourself. Please John. I don’t know what I would do if I lost you.”

John sighed. “Of course I’ll be careful Sherlock. If an opportunity to come home early arrises I’ll take it. I promise to come home to you safe. I love you Sherlock.” 

 

Sherlock sighs and moves closer to the screen. John can see his eyes are sparkling with tears that have not yet been shed. Sherlock looks at him with so much love and adoration. 

“I love you John. Be safe.”

“Bye Love.”

John signs off. 

 

........

He returns to his tent and readies himself for the patrol. Heading to grab supplies he meets up with Fred and George and soon meets LC Knight and Sarah at the trucks.  

After loading and suiting up they head out. For some reason John has an uneasy feeling in his stomach as they pass through the checkpoint. 

 

He feels safe but unnerved and tense like he’s waiting for something. After a few hours they leave the safe zone into known enemy territory. John doesn’t like this. Doesn’t like it at all.

 

It’s night fall when they reach their destination and John doesn’t like the feel of the area.  The abandoned delapodated building is barely standing but is made from stone and looks quite big. John wonders what it used to be before the war, out here in the middle of nowhere. There’s too many hills surrounding the building. Too much ground for them to cover before they set up camp for the night. And it’s quiet. No sound. Except the wind. 

Knight has apparently noticed too and informs everyone to stay armed and ready, radioing the other squad in the Jeep who came out on patrol with them, to do the same. Smith is manning the gun while John, the twins and John’s “bodyguards”, who no one even notices because they don’t speak, do an area sweep before they sweep the building.

 

The area is clear but they haven’t checked the mountain ridges. The hair on the back of Johns’ neck prickles. Something or someone is watching him. Watching them. Knight signals for the “bodyguards” to do a sweep of the ridges with another two from the other squad while the rest begin to unpack the trucks.

John has his rifle in his hands. His handgun is in its holder by his waist. And yet he doesn’t feel safe. The quiet is unnerving.

 

They are halfway through unloading the trucks when Johns’ ears hone in on a sound. A small rock has been dislodged from the ridge on his left.

 

It slowly tumbles down.

 

Knight and John have both barely yelled “TAKE COVER,” when the first bullet rings out. The silence has disappeared but the ripple of the gunfire is deafening.

John takes cover by the side of the truck and takes aim. He shoots. The gunfire is loud and disorientating. Someone is pushed up next to him on his other side, shooting towards the ridges. It’s Smith, she leans over toward him and has to yell for John to hear her over the gunfire, “We should try to make it into the building, it’ll provide more cover than being out here in the open.”

John agrees and looks over towards the other trucks. There are two bodies lying in the dirt, riddled with bullets. They hadn’t been fast enough and John feels his gut retch at the sight.

Knight has apparently got the same idea as Smith. They gesture to each other and Knight makes her way over to them while John and Smith cover her. She continues over the few meters into the building, the doorway riddled with bullets a second after she enters. 

 

There’s a sound on his left and a body tumbles down from the ridge. Knight had them covered from an opening in the building and Smith makes a run for it. John follows soon after but slows down to grab a med pack on the way. He reaches the door but feels a sharp, stinging sensation in his right calf. He manages to make it further into the building before he slides down the wall.

 

Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck it hurts so much.

Smith makes her way over, she looks worried.

“John,” she asks, “What’s wrong? Did you get hit? Where?” She begins the check him over but he points towards his leg and moves it to show her.

 

Fuck it hurts to even move it. Somehow this pain hurts more than the shot he took to the shoulder years ago. He has to evaluate it now. He doesn’t feel like it’s hit an artery or any important nerves but he has to check.

He pulls some gauze and bandages out of his pack and cleans the wound before he wraps his leg up. There’s no exit wound. He’s not going to bleed out. Well, not for a while anyway. It’ll be much worse to take the bullet out now and have the bleeding increase. At least if it stays in, his blood might be able to clot and stop flowing. He’s feeling light headed already. 

 

When he finished bandaging himself up, he searches the pack for some anti-inflammatories, antibiotics or pain killers. He find a few of each and downs them with some water from his canteen.

The gunfire has slowed down but he still hears shots ring out. There’s a  commotion at the door as Smith helps Fred bring a bleeding George through to where he is. 

They bring him towards John to see if he can patch him up. John manages to kneel over him without hurting his leg too much and begins another evaluation. 

 

This one looks bad. Really bad. George is bleeding from his abdomen and from his left arm. The bullet has hit the corotedartery in his arm and the blood from his stomach is pulsing almost as fast. John is filled with dread. He reaches for the pack and sets to work. Even though he know how this will end.

He might have had a chance if they could’ve made it back to base where he and Anthony have the med bay set up. But John will do his damndest to try to make sure this boy lives. He’s younger than John was when he first joined.

 

John is working on George when suddenly he is jolted backward and hits his head on the floor. There’s ringing in his ears. Fuck. Fuck, they have a RPG. The buildings foundations shake. He can faintly hear gunfire and Smith is waving her hands in front of him, yelling at him. The blast must have impaired his hearing. Shit.

 

They appear to be moving. Knight has apparently instructed Fred to find an exit.

Knight gestures to George and John shakes his head no. She pulls Fred away and John can hear his wail. John picks up his pack and rifle and they begin moving through the rest of the building to the exit.

 

John feels the next blast rather than hears it. His body is thrown across the room, head hitting the wall. He blacks out. He’s lying on his back staring at the ceiling when he comes to seconds later, the smell of something burning fills his nostrils. There’s smoke filling the room and his eyes water. Tear gas. The gunfire has ceased outside but he can hear vehicles moving and some yelling. He tries to get up but the sharp pain in his stomach pulls him back to reality. There’s  something lodged in his stomach and he clutches it to try to stop the bleeding. Fuck.

 

His injured leg is also trapped beneath a pile of rumble. The roof has seemingly been unstable. He looks around the room and spots Smith. She lying face down and there’s blood trickling slowly from her shoulder. Fuck. Jesus Christ what the hell is going on.

 

John tries to blinks back the stinging in his eyes. He can’t move, can barely see. He’s in such searing pain and his stomach won’t stop bleeding no matter how much pressure he puts on it.

 

He’s getting dizzy now. Light headed. The pain is excruciating. He turns his head towards the door with his last bit of strength. He is about to pass out. He hears yelling from the door. It’s not English. Men flood the room. Johns’ eyes close, he no longer has the energy to keep them open.

 

John hears feet to the side of his face and barely registers someone checking his pulse. A man. John thinks faintly as he begins to drift.

 

The man checks his pulse.

Steps back.

He speaks to someone in another language.

John knows.

This is it.

He’s about to be killed.

In Syria.

Away from London.

Away from 221B.

Away from his home.

Away from Sherlock.

 

John thinks that he’s broken his promise to Sherlock.

He won’t be coming home soon.

Or ever.

 

A single shot rings out.......

 

 

 


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi.  
> I’m sorry about the last chapter.  
> I’m horrible I know.  
> This is the final chapter of this fic.  
> But not to worry, a Mystrade sequel is in the works and will continue on in this universe. Sherlock will undoubtably make an apearence.  
> Again, I’m sorry.  
> This is the story I set out to write and if you would like to keep reading the first chapter of the Mystrade fic will be added in a week or so. 
> 
>  
> 
> This horrible chapter is dedicated to the one and only:  
> randomplotbunny  
> who’s comments have always been so welcome and I want to thank you for your support. I hope you and others will join me in the next adventure.

Sherlock hasn’t heard from John in three days. 

 

John promised he would call. 

Sherlock is pacing the flat now. Doesn’t know what to do.

Something is wrong.

Something has happened.

John has been injured.

Or worse.

That’s the only reason he wouldn’t call.

 

Sherlock has flung himself over the couch. Talking to him on Skype every few days wasn’t enough. And now he wasn’t calling at all. He wants to see John again, touch him, hold him. He will forbid John to ever go anywhere for more than a day without him when he returns.

 

Now that Sherlock has experienced what absolute love is, he won’t ever be parted from John ever again. When John returns he wishes he could lock the doors to the flat and they could stay there forever. Safe in 221B.

Sherlock is interrupted from his thoughts of John when his phone starts ringing. He picks it up. Then puts it back down.

It’s only Mycroft.

He lets it go to voicemail.

When it rings again he puts it on silent.

 

Moving over to the couch he settles in for a nice nap.

If he tells John he got sleep while he was away he might get a reward.

His phone continues to buzz softly on the coffee table.

 

               ~—————-~

After a very short nap the doorbell rings. Sherlock lets Mrs Hudson get it. Probably salesmen again. God Sherlock detests them.

Mrs Hudson’s loud wail alerts Sherlock something is not right. He goes downstairs and only makes it to the landing when he sees them at the door.

 

Two officers in dress uniforms.

Sherlock knows why they’re here. His legs almost give out underneath him as he acknowledges the officers significance. He has to grasp the rail to keep himself upright.

 

One officer looks behind Mrs Hudson and sees Sherlock. Mrs Hudson followes his gaze and when she sees Sherlock she sobs again. This time the officer acknowledges Sherlock.

 

“Sherlock Holmes.”

Its not a question. This man knows who he is.

“Yes.” Sherlock slowly makes his way down the stairs towards the door as fast as his legs will allow. When he gets there Mrs Hudson attaches herself to his side.

 

“I’m officer Holt from Her Majesty the Queen’s Armed Forces. We have come to inform you that Captain John Watson, formerly of the Northumberland Fusiliers and currently of the fifth Royal Regiment of Fusilers, has due to unforeseen circumstances been involved in a patrol  mission that has been unsuccessful. Captain Watson is and hereforth know to the British Militray Service as missing in action, presumed dead .........”

 

Sherlock hears nothing after that. He can see their mouth move but there’s only a ringing in his ears and suddenly he’s feeling dizzy. Luckily Mrs Hudson is still clutched to his side keeping him upright.

 

They stop speaking and Sherlock faintly hears them apologise for his loss and that John was an important member of the army. They will not cease to try to find him despite mounting difficulty and evidence that suggests he will be recovered. His body. They mean they’ll find and bring his body back. Sherlock just doesn’t want to hear it anymore. Mrs Hudson’s tears have soaked his shirt through.

 

He himself is about to start crying but suddenly remembers who his is.

Sherlock Holmes.

His brother taught him that caring is not an advantage and that’s how he will handle this because he doesn’t want to actually think about what this means.

 

“Thank you Gentlemen for informing us and thank you for your service. If you don’t mind I need to take Mrs Hudson back inside now. My apologies. Have a good day”

And promptly shuts the door in their faces.

 

He leads Mrs Hudson back into her flat and sits her down in her settee and makes her a cup of tea. While it finishes brewing, he brings it to her and a box of tissues and the tv remote.

“Just stay in today Mrs Hudson. You need it. I’ll check on you later but I need to call Mycroft.”

 

Sherlock closes her door and walks back upstairs and as he enters his phone rings. It’s Mycroft. He called Sherlock earlier. Probably to tell him. And as normal Sherlock had ignored him. He answers.

“Sherlock. I did try to call you earlier so you wouldn’t find out this way. I am sincerely sorry that this has happened. Do you and Mrs Hudson need anything? I can come over? I’ll bring Gregory or Molly? What do you need Sherlock?”

Mycrofts voice is soothing, almost apologetic. Mycroft has never sounded like that before and is making it seem more real. Sherlock doesn’t know how to react so he just puts his phone on the kitchen table and walks upstairs to Johns room.

 

He lays down on the bed, breathing in the smell of John on the pillow and thinks sleep will help. Maybe when he wakes up this won’t be real and John will come walking through the door.

He clutches John’s pillow to his chest. The ache is getting worse. His heart feels like it’s about to explode. John isn’t coming back. John promised he would come home and he’s broken that promise. 

 

Tears spill down his cheeks before he even knows he’s crying. It’s too real. Sherlock can’t imaging his life without John. Even when he himself was away or even when John was married he knew he would see him again. Now though.

 

Now he’ll never see John again. Never hold him again. Never kiss him. Never feel John inside him. Never feel John’s love again. His heart breaks. Slowly, piece by piece until there is nothing left. He is hollow. He is a shell. He is nothing. He is nothing without John Hamish Watson.

 

John Watson is dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If this chapter distressed you in any way please read the AN/Spoiler note I’ve added in the next chapter.


	21. SPOILER/A.N

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not a Chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SPOILERS
> 
> NOT A CHAPTER
> 
> AUTHORS NOTE

!!!!!!SPOILERS!!!!!!

 

 

 

Hi everyone. 

I am very sorry if the last couple of chapters of this story caused anyone distress. This is my first fic so I wasn’t sure what to do about the MCD because it would be a spoiler. I have updated the tags so people know there is a MCD in this story and I will be using this space to tell you what will happen. Please let me know in the comments if you think I can add more tags or warnings to help people decide to read this fic or not if the subject is too upsetting. 

 

At first I planned this to be just one big giant fic but I really wanted to add some Mystrade into it and I know some people aren’t fans of that so I thought I would split the fic into two. And then I realised that not only does Sherlock and the readers deserve closure but John does as well.. So this will be a three part series.

 

Some of you guessed it. John is still alive. Unfortunately for him though he is being held captive in Syria. 

 

Mycroft, being the British government, will be fighting to get him back. The Mystrade fic will be focusing on Mycroft dealing with the aftermath of this fic and just when it feels like things settles down, the people who have John get in contact. Add in Greg Lestrade and it’s going to interesting. 

 

The third fic will start when John is returned safely home and will be going from John and Sherlock’s POV so feel free to skip book 2 if you don’t like Mystrade and I will add a summary chapter at the beginning on book 3 so noone misses out on the important things.

 

Once again I am very sorry if this cause any distress or upset anyone, that was not my intention. I hope, now that we all know John is alive, that it gives everyone some piece of mind. I hope you will stick with me for fic 3 if not fic 2. 

 

Thank you so much for reading and I hoped you enjoyed. 

 

XxCami1313

**Author's Note:**

> I am also looking for a Brit-picker and Beta. Comment or message me. Thx xx


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